I can SOOO relate to your situation. I was diagnosed at 8 years old and once I hit my teens I basically was playing Russian Roulette withy health. I am 42 years old now and have 2 kids.
I have had periods of good control and periods of “I don’t give a shit.” About 2 years ago I decided enough was enough and started doing everything I could to keep my blood sugars under control. But after so many lucky years of no complications they suddenly started to hit me. I am paying for my many years of trying to ignore the diabetes.
Being diagnosed with T1D is tough. And the changes to our lives are immense. One thing I learned is that depression can hit hard and you may not even realize it. Sometimes people cope with stress by avoiding the stresser. As a teen, I tried to avoid the diabetes by eating whatever I wanted. That was my coping mechanism.
I am not saying you are depressed by the way. But be aware that it is very common in diabetics because of everything we have to manage. This disease sucks and its a big pain to deal with. My mantra every day is "It could ALWAYS be worse. "
Figure out how you can own this disease and not let it own you. (I buy funny diabetic tshirts to make fun of the disease. Humor helps!) Diabetes does NOT define you. Its just a part of you.
You can deal with this and I think you are doing a fabulous job of making efforts to own your diabetes. You are on this site which is a great step! You can do this!! And we are all here to support each other so reach out on tough days. You got this!