Better Days


(davidsonc18) #1

Has anyone ever had one of those days where you want to just curl up in bed and cry all day?  Today was one of those days for me.  Actually, in all honesty, it's been one of those months. I keep thinking about my life before diabetes and how I want to go back to living that way.  (I am 18 and was diagnosed about 2 years ago.)  Any suggestions on how to stop feeling sad and lonely all the time because no one understands what I am going through?


(Sugar-FreeInYYC) #2

Courtney, I was diagnosed at the same time in my life as you were so I understand completely how it is being diagnosed when you're already going through all the crap that is involved with being a teenager!  Things will always be hard and you will probably always face a wall with your diabetes, I know I do alot.  Days where like you say, you want to stay in bed all day and not do anything.  I had a similar moment yesterday when I walked through the grocery store... I thought, MAN I so want to buy and eat that whole bag of cheetos.  It was funny then, but to think of it now, it's been so long since I've been able to just let go AND eat whatever I wanted without thinking about it twice. 

I think finding friends that have diabetes and that are going through the same thing as you are is such an important part of dealing with all of this.  Since I've been on Juvenation (and honestly I haven't been on here since i've been pumping cuz i've been WAY preoccupied SORRY!) I have met some wonderful and supportive people who know EXACTLY how it feels like and how hard it is to live every minute with our condition.  Start off with having friends on here, and try to involve yourself, if you want, within your diabetes community so you can have close, face to face friends that struggle like yourself. 

Tonight I'm meeting a girl who's in my age group who is T1 and on a pump just like me! I can't wait because I know she'll be the perfect person to vent to.. AND I won't have to worry about if I'm talking about diabetes too much... we all know that you can't start talking about it and only say a few words, to try to educate people on how things are with diabetes takes ... well more than one conversation.

Hope this helps a bit and keep your head up, we're here for you :)


(Okubos_patient) #3

hey courtney! i'm hollie. i'm 16 and was diagnosed about 5 years ago. i know exactly how you feel. sometimes it does seem like the world is against you and nothing you do is ever good enough or right. my mom and i are working on getting me a new pump and i was getting all excited the other night because it looks like it will probably happen and i wanted to dance for joy. and then a thought hit me. that's not normal... a kid shouldn't be excited about getting a medical device. and i was wondering what was wrong with me. but there's nothing wrong with me or being a diabetic. i use to feel like an alien and like none of my friends would understand and that they weren't going to like me anymore. but that never once happened. you say how you keep thinking about how life use to be before you were diagnosed. have you ever thought of how it wasn't as good? i mean think of all the skills you now have in math cause of all the carb counting. and you gat a permanent diet plan. and you're not alone in this. there are so many people out there who feel the same way you do. you just can't see them. but they are there. if they weren't you'd be the only one on this website. :) so stay strong. you'll get through this and the days where you feel alone and sad will get less and less and you'll become happier. :)


(davidsonc18) #4

thanks.  i don't know any one else my age with diabetes.  so i don't have any one to vent to.  i used to vent to my friends and they try to understand but there's no way they can without going through it and i wouldn't wish this on anyone.  and hollie thanks for mentioning some of the good things that have come out of being diagnosed.  it has helped me to avoid the "freshman 15" because i can't just snack on junk food without my blood sugar going sky high.  thanks again and the next time i'm feeling down i'll try to remember to look on the bright side.


(Gina) #5

Courtney,

Of course, I have those kind of days all of the time, and you know what its normal to feel that way sometimes. You are lucky because you have us to vent to whenever you want because you know what? We all go through the same things you do! I think about how my life was all of the time before my diagnosis. I was dxd at age 25 so I completely understand how you feel.


(system) #6

[quote user="Courtney"]

Has anyone ever had one of those days where you want to just curl up in bed and cry all day?  Today was one of those days for me.  Actually, in all honesty, it's been one of those months. I keep thinking about my life before diabetes and how I want to go back to living that way.  (I am 18 and was diagnosed about 2 years ago.)  Any suggestions on how to stop feeling sad and lonely all the time because no one understands what I am going through?

[/quote]

 

Hi Courtney,

  I think I know how you feel about wanting your old life back. One main difference between you and me is. I have only been Dx'ed about 14 months. the other is I was Dx'ed at age 52. I went most of my life normal(?) I miss my old life so much!!!!!!!!!!  Don't know if this helped much, but you are not alone

 


(Amy Beth) #7

Hey Courtney, my name is Amy and I was diagnosed about 2 months ago.  I have had sooo many days like this.  Actually there have been quite a few days where I have just broken down and cried because I just wanted my life to be simple again.  Thankfully this website has really helped me to feel better about everything.  Also my husband is also a diabetic and has been one since he was 9.  So he helped me to feel a bit better but yet I was still quite upset at times.  I guess the important part is to think of all the good things that have come about and just do your best.  I know its hard because I am going through the same thing but I just keep trying to stay positive no matter what.  I hope that this helps you out. 


(Okubos_patient) #8

do you have a pump? if not i would recomend it in a heart beat. they help so much and they allow you to feel a little more "normal" because with them you can occasionally snack and gain a freshman 5. :)


(davidsonc18) #9

[quote user="Hollie"]

do you have a pump? if not i would recomend it in a heart beat. they help so much and they allow you to feel a little more "normal" because with them you can occasionally snack and gain a freshman 5. :)

[/quote]

 

yes i do i got the OmniPod in Feb.  it has helped a lot but luckily i haven't gained a freshman 5 i've actually lost weight because i've stopped snacking so much : )

and thanks for all the encouragement everybody.  it's nice to be reminded that there are other people who understand : )


(akoster) #10

Hey Courtney,

I'm pretty much your age- 19, and I've been having a lot of the same problems but I've had diabetes for as long as I can remember. When I come up from a low I get so depressed- most of the time for the rest of the day. I lay in my bed crying- wanting so badly to give up. Recently I've been better about this- but the severe mood impact this disease has on me is unparalleled.


(cdavid1) #11

In all honesty the things that keep me away from that feeling are: family, my boyfriend and his family, friends, school, and juvenation!! Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to get over it. I know that sounds kind of mean. But, go out and do something. One thing that really gets me out of those moods is photography as well. Even if you don't really like it. Take a camera and just go for a walk. You'll see things in a totally different way then you would on a normal basis. I love just shooting and then looking at everything that I took later and just thinking about how beautiful nature is or anything to just get my mind away from the real world.


(Maikuru) #12

 I was diagnosed in 1988 at the age of seven.  I have had it 21 years now and it actully make me laugh to hear the kids at the hospitals (under 16) say "but your so old...."   I try to tell them there was a time when i could remeber what it was like to be "normal"  The last piece of candy i ever ate was a bag of skittles two weeks before i was diagnosed and whatever sense of a "normal childhood" i had ended.  Other then that and view fragments of feelings and images i can not remeber anything else becuase of the diabetic coma i fell into when it was discovered i had diabetes.  Time goes by, friends come and go, things get harder and you spend most of your time trying to pretend to be normal around friends and co-workers.  There will always be longings in you (at least i believe) to return to a normal healthy life or what you feel has been lost.  I spent the first eight years after my diagonisis trying to find the answers. Read as many books as i could get my hands on and still could not resolve those feelings as well as find any sort of explaination.  I had watched kids die from cancer, luekimia, auto immune problems, diabetes and heart conditions in my years in and out of the hosptial. Your going through the "why?" stage of realizing the full gravity your life with diabetes now. Don't ever let go of those feelings for the healthy life you once had. I know those memories can make you feel sad and depressed sometimes but they are also a reminder of hope in your life as well. That one day we will find a cure and no else will have to go through this.  Find something that allows you to express your feelings. I paint, draw  and practice martial arts to alleviate those feelings of frustration and sadness. Life is about finding "your peace" and understanding with it.  In the end i think if you try that you will find a solace and wisdom in your life that you will both cherish and enjoy. I hope that helps.....  P.S another thing that keeps me going.....I have never had cotton candy, not once in my life,,so if and when they do find a cure , guess what i am going to do first....


(Amber Buller) #13

Courtney, im in the same bout at u only im 15 and have had it for 5 years.. i feel like this alot and i think its because i dnt know anybody with diabetes.. once i joined juvenation and have came close to some people i have been feeling better... so i think just get someone close on here!