Dating another type 1


(Annas Hope) #1

What does everyone think about dating another type 1? i have such mixed feelings about it and i was wondering how others feel about it. on one hand, i wonder if it would be easier or harder to date another D. he would know what i'm going through, be able to help me if i have a problem, etc. but he would also have D needs a such..........and then i wonder how i could possibly ever even have the audacity to even think about turning a guy down, simply because he's just like me!

it's just one of those weird things that's bugging me and i'm wondering if i'm the only one.......


(Anonymous) #2

Oh my gosh! You have no idea how excited I am that you posted this!! I have been wondering the same thing myself for quite a while now, but couldn't figure out a way to post it on the forums without it sounding weird coming from me. But bravo to you, I am curious to see everyone else's responses as well!
For lack of a better explination:

I, too, love the idea of them knowing what I'm going through. It's kind of like a deeper level of understanding, you know, like you could say to someone 'I don't feel well, I think I'm high,' but unless they're diabetic, they aren't going to really get what you mean. And plus, it's nice to have that understanding so they don't get mad over all the diabetes requirements, rules, regulations, etc. etc.
But on the flip side, this sounds kind of dumb, but I'm worried not so much about simultaneous lows (ie where you can't help each other kind of a thing), but having to be able to look after yourself, and keep the other person in sight, too, you know?
I agree with you again, though, in the idea that people shouldn't be turned down or looked down upon because of diabetes or not, especially when we have it ourselves.
Good gosh I hope this makes sense. But even more so I hope someone can explain it better than I, as it probably is just a jumbled mess of hoopla; and also, third and finally, I look forward to the responses. I hope it clears it up for me :)


(imax386) #3

I've dated another type 1 girl.  Our love story started at diabetes camp.  Cute, right?

Long story short:  We didn't wear our diabetes on our sleeve when we were together.  We didn't make a big fuss about our diabetes when we were hanging out.  If one us was low/high/needed supplies we'd do whatever we need to and then go on with our lives.  Dating a diabetic gives you a bit more freedom to keep your diabetes in the background instead of making such a big deal about it.  You would think that since you're both diabetic, diabetic topics would come up all the time, but I found that since I didn't have to worry about explaining something I was doing or have to explain what I was feeling I could just whip out my meter and test, etc. without even having to give it some preface, which usually I do with non-diabetics.  Just had to tell her "I'm low" and then go on with the next step.  The relationships I've had with non-diabetics I've usually been more guarded of when and where I take injections--things like that I didn't worry about so much with her.

I think the easiest way for me to explain what it's like is by comparing it to the dynamic of a diabetes camp.  Us counselors at the camp I go to have an awesome camaraderie together, and when we're hanging out with one another either on breaks or at get-togethers outside of camp we just do our diabetes routine without any bother of anyone else.  Everyone takes care of their own needs.  If someone's low we help them if they need it.  Otherwise it's just an understood support that is so soul-satisfying because you'll never be able to find comfort with your diabetes the way you can when you're around others with diabetes.  We share stories, relate to others experiences, and laugh at each other if we're acting stupid while low.  It's comfort.  That's what we have together.

And that's kind of what my relationship with the diabetic girl was.  Comfort.  No big fuss about the diabetes.  Every other aspect of our relationship was the same as everyone else.  When we broke up it was for no extraordinary reason--no diabetes aspect involved.  The only difference is that we both would have meters and insulin handy, maybe loan a glucose tab or candy to the other here and there.  Otherwise, it's everyday relationship highs and lows (not in the diabetes sense haha).

 

If you try to define your relationship through the diabetes then the experience will suck.  Worried about breaking it off because he has diabetes too?  Worried about his diabetes control?  That's when the relationship is doomed from the start.  Operate in the relationship the exact same way you would any other, and just be comforted by the fact that they have some first-hand experience of their own.


(Master_Jason) #4

A friend of mine who has diabetes always wanted to date a girl that also has to struggle with diabetes. There haven't been many internet communities around in that time so he went through some online dating site reviews and registered. The nice thing about that story is that he got to know five or six women who suffer from diabetes and also looked for some dates. Nowadays it's much easier to find people with diabetes since the internet has developed a lot and there are several forums on diabetes where you can discuss all diabetes-related issues.


(KC_Casey) #5

you can date who ever you want to date just depens on if you love them and want to be with them.you chose what you want to do. 


(BrianPQuinn) #6

Dating another type one could be a very rewarding experience. I know at one point in my life I probably would have been thrilled to do that. I mean having someone that turly knows on some level what you are going through. I have a really close friend now that is a Type One as well as myself. It is great having a close friend that I can talk to about anything. I had a great conversation with her the other day about being a type one and something that happened to me and she not only understood but was able to offer her point of view.

I think dating someone would be the same just on a more open level. I truly think it is a great idea. If one is able to find their significant other that may also be a type one it would be great. I just wonder how things would go if one had great control and the other was failing miserably at it. Life could be interesting that way. But I am all for it. I mean if I wasn't out to do something else in my life I would so be chasing my friend. However, instead it is a good healthy friendship.


(Juvenile1knoxville) #7

About dating another Type 1...sounds great, except for one thing.  If the relationship turned into marriage, you should talk about having your own (biological) children.  I would guess that your odds of having a Type 1 child would be high.  A genetic counselor could provide more information.  Something to think about.


(dancetiludrop) #8

heyy ive done it twice and it is acually really rewarding not really with the first but the second was really supportive with me and really knew what i was going through other bfs i have had say they know but they really dont know i loved going out with one of the diabetics but it ended up not working in the end he broke up with me for lak of transportation to see eachother he lived 45 minutes to an hour away


(jenniferpritchard) #9

I don't see any problem with dating someone with T1.

To me its no different then dating someone with any other kind of medical problem, I would never NOT date someone because of their medical history. 

Like Val said if it did come to marriage I would talk to a genetic counselor to see what the chance of having a baby with diabetes would be.  But hey, maybe by the time any of that happened there will be a cure and that will not be an issue!!


(BrianPQuinn) #10

In the end if you find the person you are meant to be with. I really don't think it matters if they are a diabetic, if they have lung cancer, or anything else. In today's world finding true love is hard enough. If while dating someone, who happens to be a diabetic and you also fall in love and decide to get married. The more power to you. I mean this is all hypothetical and all. Letting something come between that love is ridiculous. In the end having a child with diabetes is not the end of the world. Does being a diabetic suck, but to prevent the joy of children because of a chance of the child being a diabetic is odd. Most of us on the forums are examples of diabetics in some pahse of our life and treatment. Does being a diabetic suck? Sometimes I would say yes. However, there are worse things out there.

Don't deny the chance of true happiness because of something else. If you are asking because there is a type one out there that you like and are afraid, don't be. If it is hypothetical, it is still a good question to bring up. I think in the end this disease will eventually be cured even if it is not, don't let it hold you back.


(Juvenile1knoxville) #11

I think if you find happiness with another Type I, that is great.  If you decide to marry, that is great.  Having children together is one of life's greatest joys.  I would however, check into the increased possibility of having a diabetic baby or child. Speaking for parents of Type I children, it is not easy.  It is probably harder than dealing with diabetes yourself.  Having children of my own (none are diabetic), I can imagine it would be difficult.  Yes, there are worse things out there, but having diabetes can be very challenging.  Adoption would be a great alternative to consider.  Hopefully, a cure is coming and this won't be a concern!


(CassieBeth) #12

Someone else posted about dating a diabetic and meeting at camp, I have the same story!

 

I went to a diabetes summer YMCA camp, and met someone when I was 13-14. In highschool, we ended up dating and having a long distance relationship and at the time it was nice and convient because I had someone to talk to if I needed to vent about my diabetes...

 

I won't get into the whole history of the relationship, but we ended up living together for a little bit during college, and he ended up being the diabetic I NEVER wanted to be...he never took his insulin, and when he did it wasn't the correct way or reason. Consistantly kept sugars high, and had a horrible diet...I fell into his trap for a little bit, and then I just ended it! The relationship went down the shoot for a laundry list of reasons, and one of them being- he was a horrible diabetic. I couldn't live with someone who didn't care about their body or what they were doing to it....I moved home during college and transferred schools...I was young and dumb during those two years while with him.

 

But, I have said this in my previous posts on other forums, I date a paramedic- best care and treatment I could ever recieve ;-) .... Its fun, he loves putting my stuff together for my pump every 3-4 days...or if I need a random shot, he wants to draw it up--- (after doing it for ten years it loses its excitment doesn't it? lol) He even tried putting in a set (the same set I use for my pump) I inserted it onto his belly, so he could realize what it feels like...its fun and cute.

Moral of the story--- date who ever makes you happy and treats you the best--- wether they are diabetic or not, do whats best for you :-)


(CJ1230) #13

Well after thinking about it I think that it would be a good thing to be dating or with someone that also had type 1. As said by others this way alot of things that we have to spell out or not go into to much detail(depending on your other's knowledge of the disease)wouldn't have to be said and they would just be understood. I haven't had the privlage of dating another type 1 let alone getting to know or having any of my friends being type 1 like me. I think having that person that has a great understanding of what ur going through would be comforting. And I personally like the idea of being with that person that is just like me. But that's just me.


(system) #14

I doubt I could date another T1. I already get defensive over how I treat my diabetes..I don't see it being much better with another T1 who probably has a different way of dealing with things. We'd probably bicker over management techniques all the time!

Plus..I don't hang out with T1s in RL because most of them I find depressing as they have a negative attitude about being diabetic. Not saying all of you do or anything..but I try to avoid other T1s and especially T2s as friends in RL.


(Woo Its Pat) #15

I would totally date another Type 1. Mainly because the first part of a relationship for me is usually spent explaining how T1 works and what I have to do etc. Another T1 would be awesome because you could forego that whole process and worry about just doing whatever. It would be even cooler if you two used the same supplies/pumps etc. in case one were to ever run out or have an emergency and need the other's help.


(Anonymous) #16

It's not as high as you might think.  15% chance if both parents are type 1.  At least that was that latest statistic I read on the subject.


(Juvenile1knoxville) #17

Tyrec,

Thanks for the info, that is interesting, 15%.  Not super high, but not real low either.  I wonder currently what the chance of a sibling getting type I is, I know it is higher than the percentg. of your own child getting diabetes, I was told that anyway.  It use to be around 5%.  I have four siblings, all older than me, none ever developed Type I.  But there are so many children and siblings who get diabetes today, the percentages must have risen.

 


(Trevor) #18

I'm puzzled, personally. I have two partners, neither of which are diabetic. I feel no less comfortable with them than I would with another diabetic.

1. My female partner's mother is diabetic. She has a decent amount of experience in dealing with diabetes. She has expressed an incredible amount of understanding and support in my efforts to improve my quality of life.

2. My male partner has no familial experience (to my knowledge) with diabetes. He has expressed a similar incredible amount of support and understanding, and makes sure he knows what to do to help me when I need it.

That said, explaining things to anyone in my life often takes no more than a short dedicated amount of time. People click in pretty darn fast as to what they need to know / do for me. Even at work, I scheduled a half-hour session in which I explained emergency procedures if and when I have a reaction. No puzzled expressions, no confusion, no wild questions.

I believe that diabetes awareness is getting much more significant nowadays. Sure, there are still people who just don't get it, but that's why we're around to set them straight.

I'd rather spend my time choosing my partner(s) based on far more important factors than whether they're diabetic. :)


(izzyd) #19

omg first i think that love is love and your meant to be with who you fall in luv with no matter if they are diabetic or not

i have my first "relationship" right now with a type one that i met at diabetes camp. I luv that when we say "im high" he laughs and tells me to correct or if i post on facebook "im really high" he'll post "lol drink water and correct" instead of "what r u doing taking drugs!" we can rely on eachother for forgotten supplies and rants about diabetes and we recognize low or high symptoms and warn eachother....and we get eachothers lame diabetic jokes lol

however i luv him for all the things that make up him diabetes or no...i luv his sense of humor and everything about him...and he loves me for me. diabetes isnt the major factor in our relationship, its just what brought us together lol <3

so my ote is date who you want but dont discriminate against other type 1s try everything and see if it works and remember just because one diabetic or non diabetic relationship doesnt work it doesnt mean none of them will

val: if i ever marry a diabetic and have children and they become diabetic, then my husband and i will take care of them the best we can


(CHLjoe) #20

It wouldn't stop me, to be honest it has never crossed my mind.