Feeling useless


(jayjay19936) #1

I kinda feel useless sometimes. my parents always nag me and i always feel put down. everyone of my friends have boyfriends and i dont i just feel that if i didnt have diabetes that would change. i just want to be like normal people and i have one friend that has diabetes but she doesnt like talking about it. whenever i want to talk about it she changes the subject. i just need some help coping with it all.


(red) #2

Jackie- I don't envy you. You sound like you're having a tough time, right now. But let's get one thing straight -you're NOT useless.

It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling down on yourself when nothing seems to be going your way... But it'll get better and you're not alone. There are a lot of people here on juvenation that have gone through similar feelings rough spots. Some of us cope differently (like your friend) by not talking about it, others reach out.

When I read your post I can't tell you how much it affected me to hear of your pain, and I wanted to let you know that I care. Let me know - let us ALL know-  how we can help.

 


(whatruhere4) #3

i felt the same way when i was in high school and sometimes now. if i could hug you right now i would. it is hard, hey you know what you could do, is get in touch at JDRF and ask around about some sort of support type groups. maybe it will help get all the pent up stuff out of your system.


(christina) #4

Not to make you feel any worse, Jackie, but I'm so glad I found out that I had diabetes AFTER my teen/high school years.  I've been dating this guy for 3 years now, and I feel like I would have never been so enthusiastic in the dating world had I been diagnosed sooner.  But what you need to understand is, yes, diabetes is a pain the in pancreASS, but millions of people live with it everyday!  You're not Dying with diabetes;  You're LIVING with diabetes.  So cheer up.  Make light of the situation.  I know there are a lot of negative aspects of the disease, but try not to go through life feeling "useless".  Life is too short, and it's even shorter for us!!


(SunshineStateAdvocate) #5

Hey I can certainly relate to how you're feeling! In fact, I'm 24 and don't have a boyfriend! But not having a boyfriend and getting nagged by your parents should not make you feel useless. As much as I hated my parents nagging me when I was in school, looking back now I know they were just trying to keep me on the right path or because they were just overly concerned. But remember, in most cases, a parent that takes the time to nag usually means well and cares and just wants what's best for you. If I were you, one step I would take is to discuss with your parents how they are making you feel, because surely if they truly knew they were making you feel like you were worthless, they'd lighten up. Parents aren't mind readers, and often times don't take the time to look at things from your perspective, so help them out. I'm not sure what they are nagging you about, but let them know that having diabetes alone is a full-time job, and adding family and school to the mix can really be overwhelming at times. Let them know that you'd really appreciate more support and less criticism, and in return, do your part to please them as well. Back to the boyfriend issue. Okay yeah having a boyfriend can be fun, but they can also be an added stress. Count your blessings. You are young, single, in school, and working towards building a future for yourself. Your goals and health should be your primary focus right now. At the right time, a guy will come into your life, but you have plenty of time for that. Right now, you have to be your priority! On to your friend with diabetes that blows you off every time you try to discuss it. I'd tell her straight out how much it means to you to have someone who can relate to you on this issue, and that as a friend, you'd like to be able to open up and share things. A good friend will always listen, and if she doesn't, well then you should probably consider getting a new friend! Hope this helps!


(A-D) #6

Jackie,

 

For me, I know it took a while before I found people who could listen and kinda’ get where I was coming from with things “D.”  Diabetes will not, however, inhibit your social life without a good bit of help from you.   

 

In most cases, parents are not magic and do the best they can with the information they have – with the goals of having a safe, healthy, well rounded, morally centered child who achieves as much as (s)he is able…  Since your parents are nagging and showing an interest in your life, maybe you can help recruit them to find ways that assist you in hitting goals that you can both feel good about reaching. 

 

Fifteen is WAY in the rearview mirror for me, however, there are a few things I remember and learned.  I am not sure if any of it will be helpful but – I’m going to throw it out here, in case any of it is of use. 

When I was 15, everything seemed HUGE- Bigger than life – I thought some people had all the answers or new secrets about how things worked- I believed every change was permanent and would have a lifelong impact and I thought… well – I thought a lot of things that weren’t true…   Here’s what I learned towards the end of HS and into my first years at college:

People like smiles and kindness, embarrassment only sticks as long as you carry it with you (and usually provides a story you will share time and again), not only are things not permanent but few things last as long as I’d like, there are not nearly so many secrets out there…  It’s scary to take risks, to open up, to take a chance on people- and DOUBLEY scary in HS –but, it can be worth it. 

 

There are a lot of us here who are willing to talk about things D.  There are days where it’d be nice to have it go away, to get a break to not have to deal – times where it’s just easier not to check, not to know – times where you worry about food choices – yeah- it is enough to grind and bother anybody from time to time.  I am sure a lot of your peers here can offer more real time support and those of us who have been around for a while can, at least, let you know how things look from the road ahead…

 

Hang in there – it is great to see you reaching out and getting so involved with the online resources!

 

Cheers!

 

A-D

 


(hellomrman) #7

I know I am only one person, but hopefully I can add something positive in response to your post!  I am 19 and I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years now.  We met in high school and have been obviously dating ever since.  He is so wonderful about everything.  He is really interested in everything so I taught him how to fill my reservoirs. If I'm low he will get my meter for me and he will get my juice or anything else I need.  I know one day you will find that guy who will care about you and your diabetes and until then I guess it's good that there is a site like this one to help everybody vent and share thier stories.