Friends who don't know how to really act


(whatruhere4) #1

my friends are great, but there are times when i just want to give them the look that says come on guys. about three or four years ago i was out with some friends seeing a movie and i had given myself a shot, i had some dinner with me that i could take into the theater. right as the movie was beginning i started going low and i knew i was going low, but i never vocalized this all i knew was that one of my friends had a cocacola so i started to reach for it and she had no clue what was going on and she was like no melissa this is my drink, after a while one of my other friends was like melissa are you low? i don't remember giving an answer all i remember saying was i need sugar. they laughed when i was acting drunk, but it was kind of annoying.


(Anonymous) #2

Man, I'm probably the last person who should be responding to this post! I'm terrible when it comes to my friends and my diabetes!
I wouldn't say I'm exactly embarrassed about diabetes with my friends, I more just shy away from the topic if it comes up with the expectation they won't understand, so why bother? Probably not the best attitude in the world, and I recognize that, but usually they just ignore it anyway. I've gotten probably a total of ten questions in the time I've had diabetes about it, most of which were along the lines of the obvious and cliché inquiries (i.e. "does it hurt?") I don't know if it's because they don't know how to act, but it appears to me that it definitely could be in my case. I've had friends bug me to keep walking (insane distances) when I'm low, telling me "just eat along the way, you'll be fine!" Which I find annoying, since some times you really can't just eat along the way and be "fine." I have, however, noticed how people act awkward about my testing or insulin shots/boluses. Sometimes I wish I could just muster the courage to finally say "Excuse me, but could you please stop staring?"
I've also had friends who, no kidding, laugh about my diabetes. I know; mean, right? I met up with a friend this year, somehow it got to diabetes, and they instantly said: "I remember when you were diagnosed and you had to do a shot - your face looked so funny!" But really, who wouldn't have a nervous, or even terrified, expression their first time taking shots?
This is probably the least helpful post you will ever see. Just feeling a bit frustrated at friends lately, I suppose, what with the whole not-understanding-me thing. In fact I was talking with a friend today who received news from a doctor they would have to give injections for a bit before surgery (a medicine or pain-killer I suspect). They were telling me how they were deathly afraid of needles, and I tried to talk them down and explain that needles really aren't that scary, completely understanding how they were feeling and where they were coming from, but all they said was "But you're used to it by now[note, no "probably," I apparently just am]." That was maddening - seemed pretty insensitive to me.
Usually, I just leave my friends out of my diabetes basically all together. This may sound a bit harsh, but I find they look at me strangely a lot less if I don't bring diabetes up around them. Okay, it's official; I don't think they know how to act.

I apologize for this half-rant, half-almost-answer :)

 


(whatruhere4) #3

i've had it practically my whole life so it's the norm for me and i never think about what it was like before because there never was a before.


(Anonymous) #4

Melissa,

When were you diagnosed? I've only had it for a couple of years. Already I've become so focused on the now and diabetes that I don't recall that much from the pre-diabetes days, either, however I do remember, pretty clearly, how awkward it was for both me and my friends when I was diagnosed. Definitely they didn't know how to act then - but then again, who did, it was such an enormous change?

 


(whatruhere4) #5

1988 i had just turned four two weeks before and it was christmas eve so yeah.


(figure skater girl) #6

that sounds horrible being diagnosed on christmas eve and so soon after your birthday. all that my friends have seen is  testing my blood sugar and treating lows( I was acting totaly normal) for the rest they dont understand a thing even though I explain it to them.


(whatruhere4) #7

see i mean all my friends don't really care if i have diabetes or not. they know they need to help me out but the first enitial reaction they have is to laugh about it. i do to i think it's better to laugh than to be too serious, but sometimes its just rude.


(kurlykc) #8

All of my friends know about my diabetes and they know when i act strange (er than normal) that it might be b/c of my diabetes. You need to tell your friends about your normal symptoms incase something unexpected happens. Let me tell you, it helps ;-)


(rachael28) #9

I think my friends are pretty good about it. They want to know what to do in case i start acting funny, etc...the one that really bothers me is my mother in law! Oh my goodness! I get stares, she buys me caffiene free stuff instead of diet, buys me bags of candy for xmas, today she said "so you have to check it before and after you eat?"....ok, shes been around me since the day i was diagnosed 11 years ago..c'mon now! I say I'm high...she asks if i want candy...?!  so id say my friends arent the problem...


(Gina) #10

My friends were all actually really good about the diabetes stuff.

The people that get under my skin are coworkers. One time and this is no joke this guy came in my face with a donut and said oh, you cant have this because "you are diabetic" So i grabbed it out of his hand and bit into his donut. I said oh really? Another time same guy was talking to some people and I cant remember the actual conversation but he said something to the effect of me having diabetes? and i turned to him and i was like thank you for reminding me EVERYDAY that i work here! it is ignorance and not enough awareness.


(bsum) #11

Growing up in elementary and even into middle school I was embarrassed to tell my friends about my diabetes because I thought they would treat me differently and think I was weird.  In high school I opened up a bit and told people I was diabetic but never really went into the details except for my close group of friends.  Now in college I tell everyone, and I try to educate them as well especially as to the differences between Type 1 and Type 2.  All in all everyone has been very understanding of the situation and haven't treated me and differently.  My friends don't treat me any differently or treat me like I don't know what I'm doing (like when I go to eat a cookie, cake, etc), but when I tell them I'm low they're right there beside me with a cup of juice.


(whatruhere4) #12

every semester of school, i tell my professors that i have the disease. this semester i spoke up and basically told my whole class in my sociology class and english class.


(Nads) #13

Good for you, Mel!  That takes guts!


(whatruhere4) #14

i think it's because a lot more people my age are aware of it. thanks Nick Jonas. (says it in sarcastic tone) don't get me wrong i'm glad people are a little more educated, but i would rather stay in the background about it. i come from the generation where it was a bad thing to acknowledge the disease. i don't mean bad to acknowledge it but talk about it publicly. if that makes any sense i just had a snack for my low. grr