I can't do it

(Delaney) #1

Hey, I’m Laney :sunflower:. I’m 14 years old and I was diagnosed at 7. I used to be so good at taking care of myself, but my health has gone downhill. My A1C has been a mess since 6th grade and I always feel sick and in pain. I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do it anymore. I just want to be happy and healthy. I need help, I don’t want to end up in the hospital again, but this is all just too much for a 14-year-old to manage. Please help. Any advice???

(Wendy Spencer) #2

Deep breaths, Laney - you CAN do it. Write down all the things you love doing, and think which you would could do now - even little things like a long hot bath, a walk, texting friends, whatever. You are stronger, more resilient than you know. It’s really tough dealing with diabetes for 7 years straight. You can be proud of managing for so long. Even if things have gone downhill recently, you can decide that you are worth taking care of, and start right now. All the best - I am rooting for you!

(Delaney) #3

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the advice. It’s nice knowing that someone cares.

(Dennis J. Dacey, PwD) #4

Hi Laney @_laney, you can do it. I know how frustrating it can be living 24 hours every day with diabetes and what it is like riding the emotional rollercoaster. I’ve somehow gotten through more than 60 years living with diabetes and retrospectively how I’ve done this is just what Wendy @francesjean suggests - deep breaths and then relax a bit [yes you can] and then believe in yourself.
Take one step at a time and believe in yourself. I’ll be here to hold your hand especially during the tough times but I’ll want both my hands free to applaud for you when you share your success story, well many success stories.

(Delaney) #5

@Dennis that was really thoughtful and helpful, thank you. You’ve had diabetes a lot longer than I have and you have more experience than I do so I will definitely take your advice. diabetes has just picked at my brain for so long that sometimes I need some extra help and encouragement from amazing people like you and @francesjean

(Jon) #6

Laney, the way I look at my T1D is that it forces me to take care of myself by eating and exercising the way that most of the people in the world should. We are forced to be healthy after 33 years of being T1D I have never needed medical attention for my T1D. I was 13 when I was diagnosed and today there is not anything I can’t do, I am very active, have two grown sons that I compete with daily at various things and I can always keep up. You need to think of it as a positive and always challenge yourself. I use it as a competition, for example today I’m not going to have a sugar over 130 or i’m going to eat little carbs or whatever I choose I just make it fun.

(Mary) #7

Hi Laney! I have been living with type 1 for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed at age 9, and I will have had it for 25 years in August! (You do the math on how old I am ;-)) I remember going through a time like this in my teenage years. I just didn’t want to do it anymore and every time I saw a bad number I felt like a failure. I just wanted to feel “normal” like all my friends! I got past that stage and now I have an Omnipod and a Dexcom, my numbers are better than ever and I have an almost 3 year old son. Diabetes is still part of my life but it doesn’t rule it. You will get through, and life will only get better!!!

(Joey) #8

Laney I am so glad that you are having these feelings because that means you are normal and human! :wink: Laney I’ve had T1D for 37 years now and one thing is for sure that it’s a tough road. The fact that you are thinking about it though and are concerned about it is great. That tells me that you can definitely do it because you care. You can do it Laney. We are all rooting for you and probably seeing/hearing a lot of ourselves in your thoughts. One day at a time. You got this. Head up. Shoulders back. Deep breath. Attack the day.

(Jennifer) #9

Hey Laney! You can absolutely do this!!
I felt like you a lot when I was 14, and I wish I had known about the Omnipod and Dexcom back then- it would have made life SOoOoO much easier… you just have to try different treatments until you find what works best for you!

(Gail) #10

Hi Laney,
I also have had T1 for a long time (50 years now) and there are a couple of things I want to tell you. 1. Yes–be concerned about the times when everything seems out of control and do what you can to get on track (and use every resource!! You should be getting a lot of help from your doctor and other medical professionals–if your not getting it. Insist!!) But don’t waste your time and energy on regrets. When I was young I was convinced that my time (WAY) off track meant that I would be on dialysis and blind etc etc by the time I was fifty. I’ve been lucky though–and at 63 I feel as good as most of my non diabetic peers. As other long timers have pointed out–you are likely to be much more resilient than the alarmists think. Also–you are young at a very good time. Inovations that will make things a lot easier (and perhaps a cure!) are just around the corner. Don’t think of all the complexity as something you are going to have to deal with forever. Hold out and try to keep your health on track as much as you are able until they come up with more amazing aids. And again–get all the help you can. There are people whose job it is to make sure you have the tools you need. Seek them out and don’t take no for an answer.

(Mark) #11

Hi @_Laney ! I would like to start by saying that you are doing the right thing reaching out to others for help, and that how you are feeling is normal for a diabetic, especially someone at your stage in life. I’ve been a diabetic for 11 years (not as much as some of the people on this blog, that’s for sure!), and I had an experience very similar to yours during my first two years of college. My A1c went up 1% in a very short time (yikes), and I’d let my sugar go out of control for long periods of time because I was discouraged and simply didn’t care. I felt incredibly sick quite often. And, I know, it’s terrible to know that you will have to manage blood sugars for a while to come and that it will always be there to cause problems if you don’t properly take care of yourself. What I think makes it the worst is that we have to deal with diabetes while trying to figure out so many other parts of our lives (school, relationships, what we want to do in the future), and we feel left behind and tempted to simply give up. But, know this, that nothing in your life will matter more than your health. Someone with so much potential as you and as uniquely special as you, Laney, does not deserve the treatment you have been giving yourself, and you must take small steps to get back on the right track (regular checking, a pump and CGM if possible, meetings with an educator or counselor). It won’t happen as fast as you want, and it will still be super annoying at times, but you’ll start feeling sick less, and you’ll start to realize that you can be happy and healthy and that all the effort is worth it. But don’t worry, there will be a lot of people to help you and support you along the way, believe me. You have friends, family, doctors, and other diabetics like us to guide you, and that’s what I think is so great about JDRF. Never forget how much progress we have made in treating diabetes and making your care easier and less stressful and how much your life is worth living. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me or anyone else when you need help. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help you, Laney! One day, someone may need your advice, and I’m sure you’ll be glad to tell them about your experiences in order to help them.

(Nancy) #12

Hey there @_laney, I hear ya! I was diagnosed at 10 mos and grew up with T1D. It was super hard to feel normal as a teen anyway (we all have the benefit of hindsight now) but to juggle control on top of everything else! Bah, who wants that mess!

Something I haven’t web the others mention to you in this thread is the onset of menses. Now that you are maturing into womanhood, you’re gong to face obstacles with control because of your hormones. Rather than embarrass you in a public forum, send me a dm, I’ll explain the trials and tribulations I faced, and conquered, throughout my life.

To your Good Health,

(Janice) #13

I was diagnosed at age 9 and that was a long time ago. Puberty can be a very difficult time for Diabetics and fortunately it doesn’t last forever. During tis time all yo can do is manage as best as you can, make sure you get the rest you need and when you are in pain and feeling really bad test your blood sugar and see if each time you feel this way your blood sugar is running in the same numbers. If you are feeling bad and hurt and for example your blood sugar is ??? each time you may want to adjust your blood sugar and see if you feel better. In my case Pain and itches come when my BS is bout 112-118 if I raise my BS a little (1/2 glass Apple or Grape juice) the pain and depressing thought go away… Expect these little problems to go away but until they do , please do the best you can. Went through it when I was your age and I didn’t know then what I know now. Your body is changing and until it gets where it’s going you’ll just have to do the best you can, this will pass and things will get easier, I promise. Keep going you can do it. I have faith in you. Bye for now Jan

(Eric) #14

Never assume things will always be this hard. Look at where technology and science has taken us in just the last couple of years. We now have CGMs that can give you continuous glucose readings throughout the day. We have one FDA-approved bionic pancreas which functions within a closed loop system to monitor your glucose and respond with microdosing insulin throughout the day (The 670G). AND there are several more in clinical trials. Look at Bigfoot Biomedical, a biotech startup founded by people directly impacted by T1D, who are using the latest machine learning algorithms, and the massive power of cloud computing to model millions of hours of virtual diabetic patients to train their neural networks to customize and predict the best regimen of treatment for each type of patient. Look at the iLet which is on track to be the first bionic pancreas with dual pumps (one for insulin and another for glucagon) which virtually eliminates (or greatly reduces) the need for personal intervention.

We can have a fully functional, dual-pump system with a stable glucagon component within the next 3 - 4 years.

Now look a lifeplus and their lifeLeaf product, a wearable glucose monitor that uses vector spectroscopy and multiple sensors to read your glucose non-invasively.

Abbot labs released the Freestyle Libre which is a wearable sensor that eliminates the need for finger pricks and gives you constant readings whenever you want.

My daughter got diagnosed this year and it was devastating, heartbreaking. Emotionally stressful. I was depressed for 4 months, but totally committed to following every single research article, every clinical trial, every new invention that was hitting the market because I needed something to keep hope alive. To believe that she can still have a normal life. We got her on the freestyle Libre, we got her into a clinical trial for extending the honeymoon phase, we got her on a low carb diet, and she IS doing great.

Viacyte has recently proven that it is possible to grow beta cells in the lab, by the millions, whereas they could only be harvested from donor pancreas. They are in a clinical trial for a sub-dermal implant loaded with cultured beta cells that completely take patients off insulin.

You will be OK. Help is COMING! Real help, from real science and technology finally working together to achieve amazing strides in the quality of life for all T1Ds. And the progress is accelerating. Every year, new and better technology enters the trial phase, every year more and more is discovered about the nature of this disease. From immunotherapy to biotech, we are closer than ever to making life normal for you again. Just hold on. Know that things will get better, easier. My heart goes out to you, but don’t lose hope. You are not alone. Brilliant people all over the world are working hard, trying to help you live a normal life.

(Delaney) #15

There are so many people who reached out to me and have commented that I can’t name all of you, so here is a big thank you to everyone. None of you know me yet you have all extended your hands to pick me up and give me optimism and strength. I cannot thank you guys enough. I CAN do it, I just needed the support that I received from each of you. Nothing compares to the comfort you feel from those who understand. Despite the challenges we have all been through, the life around us is still beautiful and messy and wonderful and full of experiences that are shaping our lives for the better even if it hurts right now. Thank you :two_hearts::two_hearts:
-Laney :sunflower:


Dear Laney - I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It is not fair! My daughter is 12 years old and feels like you do. There are times when she just says, “I can’t do it anymore.” So, you are not alone. My daughter is also a cancer survivor and stroke survivor. Sometimes she feels so alone because she does not know of any other child who has had to deal with T1D, Celiac Disease and cancer. Sometimes you just have to take life one day at a time, one hour at a time and sometimes just one minute at a time. The future is very bright for you and my daughter even though it may not feel like it sometimes. You have an amazing story to share with the world. Every thought and feeling you have is so valuable and we are so appreciative you are sharing this with our T1D community. You are helping others with T1D and their caregivers when you share these moments. I am sending you loving thoughts and a big bear hug and hope you will remember you are part of a HUGE T1D family who loves you so much and who are all feeling just like you. Take care!!!

(t1don) #17

been there and I have been at this 37 years. maybe go to a great diabetic summer camp. also look at other things that might be bothering you - a good counselor can and did help me a lot. chance to talk things out. tell us more about your specifics - curious. I will pray the rosary for you as well this evening. don’t worry, phases come in and then go. you will improve.

(Sherri) #18

I think the teenage years and college years can be tough. I have had the 1 for 50 years plus so I can relate to what you are going through
It is tough but you can do it

(RichardV) #19

Laney, I was diagnosed in 1945, when I was 6. I listened very carefully to my doctor, and my parents. I was scared to eat anything with sugar, so I avoided all sweets. I was so afraid of the complications that could happen, so I did not cheat. Like you, I wanted to have a normal childhood, but that was impossible back then. I did not have any way to test my blood sugar for my first 40 years, and I had many hypos.
Now, in the 21’st century, you have the opportunity to use a glucose meter, a pump, a CGM and wonderful fast acting insulins that can give you very good diabetes management. It will take your cooperation, and careful attention, but you can do it!
I have lived with type 1 for 72 years, and I do not have any serious complications. You can have a very long, healthy and happy life if you take good care of yourself.
Good luck to you in the months and years ahead.

Richard Vaughn

(Mathew David Moore) #20

I believe this community will help you Laney, and I hope you check it out💙
[Clicking on BLUE TEXT brings you out of TypeOneNation to “Beyond Type 1 website” - ED.] Just click on the blue text