I feel my daughter hates me

(Mayra) #1

Hey guys so since bellas diagnosis I feel her distant from me… she yells at me and tells me it’s mt fault …she never seems to be angry at anyone only at me… she constantly tells me she’s super happy to go to her dads and doesn’t even miss m when she’s over there … am I a bad mom or wth why is she like this only with me

(joe) #2

@Mozluvsme18 hi Mayra,

isn’t your daughter about 9 and didn’t she just very recently get diagnosed?

I think it’s reasonable that for a 9 year old that just got diagnosed with a life-long disease, who now needs shots every day, and needs fingers pricked and needs to see blood, and feels like heck because she’s not yet used to blood sugar swings, doctors, hospitals, and other trauma… that she just might be a little angry right now.

an angry 9 year old has very few options. right now you are diabetes, because it is very likely that you are the one giving shots, testing, dragging to doctors… etc. so you see, it might be possible that your little girl might think that if YOU just stopped it, that “it” would go away.

a 9 year old doesn’t have the emotional capacity to talk about anxiety or depression, or the mental capacity to even understand why you are so upset, or what “for the rest of her life” even means… so essentially, kids get angry. sometimes very angry.

please consider getting some emotional help, maybe a family or grief counselor or something like that, because I am guessing she’s not mad because you are a bad mom… really.

(Mayra) #3

Thank you … yes you’re very right … I did make an appt with a counselor so I’m looking forward to that … :slight_smile:

(Karmella) #4

My daughter was diagnosed in February at 7 years old. She is the youngest of my children and while i have not had any severe behavioral issues with her, I’ve been through similar issues with 2 of my older children. I read in a book once, when i was searching for answers, that children take out their anger on the person they trust the most because they know we will love them no matter what they do. Years later i was told this again by a counselor. I know it is never easy to deal with but hopefully you can find a little comfort in knowing that you are her rock. Continue to be that for her, no matter how hard it gets. Im so glad your not afraid to reach out and that your seeking out professional help.