Hi! My name is Kim and I have decided to join typeonenation because I need to connect with parents of children with T1D. I did not feel I needed that connection until now. I, of course, was wrong. Let me start by telling you the day my daughter was diagnosed.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, perhaps because the way we found out was traumatic. My daughter was diagnosed on Friday, October 7, 2011 at the age of 10. The date is one I will never forget.
She had been sick with the “flu” the entire week, or what I thought was the flu. The only thing that was strange was that she did not present with a fever. So, all week I pumped her with fluids to flush out whatever was making her sick. I did not know at that time that, by doing that, I was raising her sugar to dangerous levels.
I was awoken in the wee hours of that Friday morning, with her slurring her speech and unable to walk. I knew immediately that it was NOT the flu. We rushed her to the ER where they tested her sugar - which wouldn’t register on their machines - and she was diagnosed as a diabetic. They had said that, had I waited any longer, she would have slipped into a diabetic coma. When they could get a number for her sugar, it showed 914.
I was horrified. Not only by the fact that she could have slipped into a coma, but by the fact I did not recognize the signs. My family has a history of T2D and I have been around it my entire life. Needless to say, I blamed myself.
I pleaded with God to not take my only girl, and did it through a poem:
I Should Have Known
She lay there sleeping
So quiet and weak
I should have known
By the speed of the beat
The signs were there
Only thoughts of the flu
The doctors reassure me
It was nothing I knew
A deal with God I have made
To bring back my baby
From where she now lays
In a state, a sort of shell
To relieve my torture, this personal hell
…will remain unfinished, my prayers were answered
I no longer blame myself, but when she is struggling with her diabetes, the pain returns. I would gladly take it on, if I could.
It has been 7 years, 3 weeks, and 4 days. Most days are good for her, but recently, it has been a struggle because her anxiety and depression take hold and her diabetic care suffers.
I feel defeated and helpless and that is why I have sought out parental support on here.
Thank you for listening,
Mom of a T1D