I have had diabetes a long time. at first I did the minimum to stay alive. as I got older I realized how depressed I was, and how my misplaced anger and fear was turned inward for over 30 years.
diabetes does not mean you can’t have candy. For example; I made a gingerbread house with my 7 year old son and had my fair share of skittles and twizzlers. I also enjoy ice cream and cake when it’s a significant birthday or anniversary. I only need to take insulin to cover the sugar that I eat, and eating candy is the same for me as someone who does not have diabetes. The emphasis is on the testing and taking the right amount of insulin, and then eating junk food becomes just a flaky (you can call it “bad”) food choice and not covert suicide.
[I am guessing] Your boyfriend is lost alone and really angry he has diabetes, and it’s unresolved, and for the time being, he wants to sit in denial and make believe it’s someone else’s fault. You cannot save him. Only a change in his attitude can save him. YOU can threaten, scream, or leave him - but in the end he will only change when he’s ready.
The grace in any relationship you have in your life will depend on your sense of self. If you have poor self esteem, or if you are co-dependent, you may find this exact thing will be a recurring theme for you. If you can’t possibly be okay with his behavior and it is affecting your life… then it’s time for a major decision FOR YOU, NOT HIM, on how you want your world to be. I feel bad for you, because you are the one reaching out.
Please take good care of yourself.