My pump made me look like a man


(FreeHappyHolly) #1

ok, so this is too stinkin' funny not to share the joys of wearing a pump.....today I wore a dress.  Minnesota finally gave us warm enough weather today to wear something "summery".  I typically wear my pump on my bra or my pants waist.  Today I had to wear it hooked to my underwear.......yeah, I know.  I got out of my car and felt that my pump had slide into a weird spot and had shifted a little and became top heavy so it was literally pealing back my underwear open in the front.  It was on a busy street so I couldn't reach up my dress to fix it.  As I started to walk I could feel it start to bounce up and down because it was barely hooked on to my underware.  All of a sudden the wind picked up and pressed my dress against the front of my body.  I looked down and was horrified........here it looked like I had about a 6 inch erection!!!!!!!  My dress was totally stuck to my body from the wind and here was my pump under my dress in front where a penis normally is.....sticking out all proud and stiff and in it's glory.......I tried to convince myself that it looked worse than it really was  due to the angle I was looking at it...and then I walked by some windows and saw that it was actually worse !!  I panicked and didn't know what to do....I couldn't reach up my dress and fix it and I couldn't put my hand on it from the outside my dress because it was sticking out right where a penis would be and that would have looked weird too.  I just continued walking as fast as I could and went inside my work.  I can just hear the gossip spreading now.....she's one of those chick's with a penis....    


(figure skater girl) #2

sorry, but that is a bit funny. try strapping it to your leg, thats what i did when i wore a dress. and it didnt do anything wierd exept slide down a little, but it still wasnt visible to everyone. and at least people wont think youre a guy if it does anything funny.


(Gina) #3

FreeHappy haha thats pretty funny. well im a guy. i guess i need to get a pump for good now. maybe if i have the same problem you had then all the chickys might second look me. i can smile like "bob" from the enzyte commercials. :)


(Anonymous) #4

Great story FreeHappyHolly. Too funny. Glad you weren't too far from work when it happened :)


(system) #5

haha that is really funny. im sure i would be horrified if it happened to me though.

in the future..just go "f it!" and reach up your dress to fix it. doesnt really matter cuz you're never gonna see those people again and its not like its to do something bad!


(Brittany) #6

I know exactly what you mean!! At night I always hook mine to the front of my underwear. My pump is so heavy that it almost pulls my underwear down so I put on pants but it almost pulls them down too. I've gotten to where I hook them to my pants then to my underwear. I wear dresses all the time to church so I hook mine on the side. It is funny but when it is happening to other people. Mine has accually pulled my underwear down before talk about embarrassing.