Need encouragement for burnout


(Amy) #1

Hi there! I’ve had T1D for 18 years, since age two. You’d think I could handle it by now! I have A1C’s around 10-13 constantly. I’m just having trouble coping with the fact I’ll have it forever!

I feel like a lazy diabetic, not really putting in insulin accurately or if at all. I hardly change my pump sites every three days. The one thing I DO do is use my freestyle libre to check my BG often— like 15 times a day.

Here I am, posting about how I don’t take care of myself. I even check my blood sugars so often but don’t respond to them!

How have you learned to cope with this disease? I just don’t want it anymore!! It’s so easy to ignore.

Anyone want to connect who is living in the Twin Cities, MN?

Amy


(joe) #2

hi @forestfern Amy, burnout is a tough thing to understand. The way I see it is something about that testing is making you freeze up, as if you don’t know or don’t want to do what to do next. Do you have fear of lows? The other clue is reiterating you don’t want diabetes anymore - are you thinking you don’t have diabetes if you are not taking shots?

yea forever is a sucky way to look at it. I learned a few things about “just for today” see I can’t change anything about yesterday… and I don’t know what the heck tomorrow will be, so I got today. and just for today I can do the best job I can… Looking past that, sometimes, can make you numb and frozen.

I learned to cope by working on my self esteem. I freaking hated myself for getting this disease. I hated my friends because they don’t have it, and I hated my parents because they could always fix everything for me and this thing they could not fix. now you were 2 so maybe that last one is not for you… but you get the idea. Now be completely honest this one is important: What’s your very first reaction when you look at yourself in a mirror?

truth is that t1 is not a punishment. It’s not about something I did or something I didn’t do. I can’t decide when to get better, I can only decide when I am going to do something about it.

I didn’t cope with this disease by “beating it” I cope with it by owning it, I have diabetes and all this crap is just what I gotta do to feel good… it’s my boat anchor and I have to drag it around… there are other people with other boat anchors too but this one is mine, and I am completely worth the effort to take care of myself and to be happy…


(Amy) #3

Joe,

Thank you so much. I re-read this. Really needed this today!!


(Hollie) #4

I feel the same, everyone around me tells me it’s manageable and not to worry but even though it’s been nearly a year for me it still seems surreal that this is forever!


(Carmen & Jhia <3) #5

Amazing post! And even better way to look at it! I myself do not have Type 1 diebates but my baby girl that is 2 yo do.It breaks my heart daily and I wish I could take it from her. But you have provided great words of encouragement ! I know as she get’s older , she may have rough days like the sweet young lady this post was in responses to, but I will reminde her to own it and not let the disease over take her! Just be the best she can be and live for the day! Seize the moment !


(wadawabbit) #6

Hi Amy. I’m so sorry you’re having such a frustrating time. If you know what you should do but aren’t doing it, you may want to try finding a counselor to talk to. Your doctor’s office should have some recommendations, and you may need to shop around to find someone you connect with comfortably.
I’d say you should see your doctor or a DNE about adjusting your pump settings and perhaps getting a Continuous Glucose Monitor - and you should - but you’re still going to need to put in some work to keep yourself as healthy as possible. Since you will have diabetes forever (barring a cure). you need to take control of it so it doesn’t take control of you. I realize I’m telling you things you already know, but hopefully the responses you get to your post will give you some incentive.
I’ve been on insulin for 55 years and have no major complications. You can have a long, fulfilling life if you put in the work. There are diabetic moms, dads, teachers, doctors, actors and musicians, race car drivers, and even a couple of American Ninja Warrior hopefuls. So
Look at your health as incentive.
Look at your Independence as incentive - depending on where you live, your doctor may need to complete a form stating that s/he finds you responsible in managing your condition in order to drive, and you may need an eye exam as well. And hopefully you will be able to care for yourself into a ripe old age, without the need for professional caregivers.
Look at your family and friends as incentive.
Find what motivates you and speak with someone to help you determine why you’re not making those things happen. Even people who have had diabetes for a long time may need someone to help them regain their focus.
Wishing you the best.