Need to Vent to Fellow Diabetics


(Daniel) #1

I am usually pretty positive on this site, but right now I need to vent. Last night I was told by someone close to me, “You don’t want to have kids because you have diabetes” and it just set me off. To me that comes off as saying, “you hate yourself and your illness to the point that you would rather not exist.” I completely snapped at this person in a public setting and it has hurt one of my good relationships. This disease is just so frustrating sometimes and it is so hard listening to everyone else’s opinions when they have no idea what they are talking about. Anyone have any stories of diabetic intolerance or anything they want to get off their chest?


(Dennis J. Dacey, PwD) #2

Hi Daniel @dromanelli2, I hear what you are saying and I’ve heard several [ignorant] people telling me things like that. The one that hurt the most, and as a result gave me inspiration to be "a success, was in 1960 by a potential employer.
I had just left college and reported to work at Prudential Insurance for my first day of employment. As part of my orientation, I was given the employee benefit package enrollment forms to fill out - pension, life insurance and medical insurance. Yeah, GREAT stuff. Well, I was honest and entered “diabetes” on the health questionnaire and within an hour after someone reviewed the forms for “completion”, I was fired! The excuse, I couldn’t live long enough to be worth training. Prudential’s loss; with another national corporation, I worked up through the ranks and served as President/CEO.

As far as kids, none of my children and none of my grandchildren have diabetes.


(Daniel) #3

Dennis you have no idea how much this helped me right now. Thanks for your response.


(Becky) #4

Love Dennis’ reply. Many people try to be helpful when they are really ignorant about the whole thing. Talk with your friend and tell them of your frustration and why it upset you.


(anita) #5

Hi,

I have been diabetic for 57 years. When I became diabetic I was pregnant and my doctor then told me to plan having a family as if I were not diabetic. I have 3 children ages 55,53 and 50. Have your kids, but get the proper support from your doctor.
Good luck. Do not listen to people who do not know what they are talking about.

Anita


(joe) #6

@dromanelli2 hey Daniel. Just want to point out that the world is full of misinformed people don’t get too depressed over a flip comment.

I have climbed mountains, flown airplanes, and at age 44 had my son. Take care of your blood sugar and live. There is no such thing as a normal life there is just life.


(Alexandra) #7

Hi Daniel, this is something people say to me all time. I’ve had diabetes since I was 8 and am now 31. It never ceases to amaze me when ever I get that. I usually end up lecturing the person on how diabetes works. One question that sets me off is when people ask me if I can’t eat sugar. I once lectured a cashier at the supermarket when she said she eats too much sugar and will get diabetes. I held the line up for 20 minutes and the people behind me actually joined the conversation lol The point is that people say stupid things all the time and it’s our job to educate them, but it is also okay for you to feel frustrated. Sometimes it’s difficult.


(Jennifer) #8

I have been a T1D for 28 years. When I became pregnant with my third child, a family friend told me she was disappointed in me and thought I would know better. She said I already had two children and having a third was selfish and risky for my health.
I had worked closely with my endocrinologist, prior to becoming pregnant. I was seeing a perinatalogist throughout my pregnancy. Both of my doctors were supportive and had very little concern with my ability to have a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy and delivery.
Her response to the pregnancy announcement was hurtful and unnecessary. I am the mother of three perfectly healthy and thriving kids. I carried them all to term, all were born without needing a C-section and minimal complications. The complications we did have were hardly “complications” more like mild hiccups.
We know our disease better than anyone and it is very irritating when people think they know more, and are completely clueless.


(Elisa) #9

Thank you for your comments, my daughter is 6 and was dx exactly 8 weeks ago. One of my fears that has been lingering in my head is, can she have children? I’m so happy to hear about you and you having 3 beautiful children!


(Jennifer) #10

She absolutely can!
I was diagnosed when I was 10 years old. I had my first baby 14 years ago, when I was 24. My second baby was a bit of a surprise, and born just 16 months after our first. It took me 8 years to talk my husband into baby number three! I was 33 years old when she was born.
I had an insulin pump with all three pregnancies, but the CGM in combo with the pump, made control with the third pregnancy so much easier! Treatment will only get better as your daughter grows up. When she decides to start a family, it will be even better than it is now! She’ll do great!


(Elisa) #11

:heart:️:heart:️:heart:️ this is wonderful!!! Thanks for sharing your beautiful story!


(TIMOTHY) #12

If the relationship with the person who gave you uninformed and unsolicited advice is worth saving, have a heart to heart conversation with the person to let him/her know how T1D has affected your mood and how scary the advice sounded. You can look at this as an opportunity to educate someone. Think about the good things that can result from this encounter.
Best wishes!


(Blyann) #13

I am so sorry that someone would be so shallow as to tell you that. My daughter has had Type 1 diabetes for 23 years and now has a very happy healthy 11 month old baby girl who is the light of their lives. Because you have diabetes does not mean you can not have healthy babies. Keep taking care of yourself and do not let this disease define you. Best wishes always.


(Jill) #14

The way I see ignorance about diabetes is with a kind heart to uneducated people. Think for a minute how confusing and baffling diabetes is even for US! If on a day-to-day basis we can’t figure out what our blood sugar is going to do, or how it’s going to effect our moods, our sleep, our performance, we can only imagine how confusing it is to those who do not have to deal with it.

I understand snapping, and getting sooo sick of hearing such ridiculous claims as to what diabetics can and can’t do and what the disease is all about. Unfortunately it comes with the territory and it’s okay that you snapped. Perhaps your response will enlighten your friend for someone near by that you are a person and they need to be more cognizant of their judgments.

Hang in there let out vents to those of us who understand, forget those that aren’t educated on this rollercoaster of a disease. When they are ready they may begin asking you questions instead of telling you what to do with your diabetes. Then you’ll get to the I-told-you-so dance and blow their mind with all the knowledge you have!


(Laurie) #15

Hi Daniel, I totally get it! Thirty years ago I had the same response from some family members and a high risk specialist doctor when I became pregnant (she wanted me to abort—-hell NO!!!). Well, my daughter is now turning 30 years old soon, and she is a healthy and not diabetic, but even if she was she would have done just fine, especially with all the new technology we have now… I’ve been on this T1d journey for over 44 years and still kicking its butt and plan on going for a very long time. Stay strong my dear friend, you’ve got this!!! :muscle:t4:


(Roger) #16

I have had T1D since age 4 in 1952. I have two great kids(ages 45 and 43) and four great grandkids. No one has developed T1D. Yes there is the genetic possibility of T1D, but I have read that it typically skips your kids and that your grandkids have a higher chance of developing T1D. I remind my kids to check their kid’s blood glucose occasionally and to tell their pediatricians.

I have lived a very fulfilling life with T1D for 66 years. and with all the new treatment options and the continuing research, T1D is not a dreaded disease. It is a condition that is treatable and treatments continue to improve. Please tell your friend that they are wrong and have a 1940’s view of T1D.

Living Positively and Happy,
Roger


(Autumn) #17

Hello Daniel, I completely understand where you are coming from. My mother constantly comes at me negatively about starting a family because I’ve had diabetes since I was 9 months old. She reminds me of how I could get complications, or die, or endanger the baby if I did try to get pregnant. But I know that as long as my diabetes is controlled it’s perfectly safe


(Dennis J. Dacey, PwD) #18

Autumn @AlphaWolfAya, keep in mind that “healthy” women sometimes have complications with pregnancy and some die. Even your mother could have died when she was pregnant with you, but she considered the risk and brought you into this world.
Yes, it is true that you will face more trials if/when you choose to bear your own children so you will need to consider this factor, but if you are willing it may be very rewarding for you. are not managing your diabetes effectively now, you should begin now before you become pregnant.

My best wishes for you, now and into the future.