Parenting worries


(sarahslp) #1

I have decided I would like to put my son in a large bubble and let him out when he's ... I don't know ... 24. He goes to the staff daycare at my work, so I'm usually there in the building. But, I was 30 minutes away on Tuesday when he tripped on a toy, fell, and busted his lip open, as well as bruising up half of his face. When I got the call, I thought "no big deal" b/c I remember going to gets stitches when I was a kid. But, b/c he's 1 1/2 and would fight it, they had to sedate him to stitch his lip. We had to hold him down (it took 4 people!) in order to place the IV and get him sedated. Also, his front teeth are pushed up and back, so we have to see a dentist next week. He was so swollen, he looked like a prize fighter until 2 days ago. It' so hard to protect your kids from all the crazy things that can happen in the world, but you just feel like you want to hide them inside forever, you know? I don't know how my Mom survived when I was dx'ed. I know every parent feels extremely protective of his/her kid, but I also feel like it was such a miracle for me to have a healthy kid after having T1 for so long that maybe the other shoe will drop one day and he'll somehow get sick, which I know is irrational, but I often think that. Am I the only T1 Mom who thinks that? Also, I know there are a lot of parents of kids w/ T1 on here, which clearly is a bigger deal than stitches even though it was stressful for us. How do you relax and not worry about your kids all the time?? 

Thanks! Sarah


(volleyballjb14) #2

I'm 16.. so it's a good thing I'm not a mother yet... BUT, I hope you find the answers you need (: maybe it's something that you learn as your child gets older? I really have no idea - but I've always wondered about this.. good luck, and I'm glad your son is ok! that sounds like a scary situation.


(JDVsMom) #3

Sarah - you are not alone as a mother. Pre-D dx,  I would sometimes wonder how it was that my son was almost 4 and we'd never had to take him to the ER for ANY reason? When I knew so many other people who had to go for falls, extreme fevers, etc. Now I know, he was saving up for when he'd develop Diabetes!!! (That is supposed to be a joke, but I know, not really funny).

It is hard, not too long ago there was the thread about disaster planning and when I told my husband about said 'Hey guess, what honey, if there's ever a nuclear war, and no insulin, our kid is gonna die!" And he was like - "Do you know how irrational that is?? He's probably more likely to get hit by a car, like any other kid, than to die because the world runs out of insulin." Me: "Thanks hon, that is really comforting!" But you know what, it really was. It made me realize I can't fixate on when or if my kid could get hurt or worse. We have to realize bad things can happen to them or to us (which is also bad for them) and prepare the best we can for it. (Have safe places to go, a will, etc.) but then you just have to move on and know we did our best  and focus on enjoying your kid or not wanting to kill them yourself for the dumb or naughty thing they just did. (Wait 2 more years then you will get that last one!)  And if he gets hurt or sick again - you will deal with it, and take good care of him, and uncover a new normal, just like your mom did with you after your D dx.

I hope this made some sense And - I hope your son is making a good recovery. :)


(volleyballjb14) #4

That does make a lot of sense, and it's very smart.

I do want to say this - even though I did already respond to this message. This past year or so has been a rollar coaster in itself, if you want to call it that. Last august I broke my back. I went through doctors, bed rest & homebound, physical therapy, body brace, more PT, epidurals, and pain blocks. They wanted surgery in the very beggining. I'm 16 and was 15 at the time. The surgery was dangerous, and it had a lot of effects. Being a diabetic makes it a lot harder as well. Well, we beleive it has healed as of this past July. We don't know if it is or not, but I think it is. I still have pain, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. A few days before school started, I was taken to the doctor for rectal bleeding. We got a referal for a specialist. that day was Friday. On sunday, I started having excruciating pain in my low abdomen. We called the doctor, and he sent us to the ER. We were there all night, and after many tests discovered a large ovarian cyst. So then I missed a ton of school with that pain. 2 weeks ago, I drove to youth group at my church. I was late because I was planning on going for the second half. When I got there, when I was siting in my car gathering my stuff,  All of a sudden I felt very weird but very bad. It just came on without easing into it. I wasn't sure what it was but it was getting worse, so I assumed it was my blood sugar dropping or rising. I texted a girlt hat was in my small group and asked her to send an adult out. My small group leader ran out, and at that time I was able to talk, but I was blurring speech. She ran back in to get some cookies. She brought the cookies out, and went back in to get some juice - at the same time she called my mom (they are friends) to ask what she should do. In the meantime, I guess I decided to walk into the church. Except the minute I stepped out of the car I passed out. It ended in ambulences. After some "investigation", I had inenvertedly given myself insuling (through my pump) for dinner twice. I know have a brain injury from when I fell & am hombound - from school and everything. In the meantime, my dad is on the verge of losing his job - meaning when he does, we lose health care. That could be ultimatly fatal for me. I have been dealing with depression, OCD and bipolar disorder for about a year and a half. As you probably all know, depression runs hand in hand with diabetes. It has been SO hard,, but I know in my heart that I am incredibly lucky that I hadn't left my house that night 2 minutes later, or got stuck in traffic for two more minutes - because I would have passed out behind the wheel. I know that it could be so much worse than it is.

My youth pastor said that he wishes he could make all the pain go away. The emotional scars that are with me right now are so much worse then the physical. They are so much worse then the marks on my fingers and hips from pricks & sites. He says he wishes he could send me an eraser and erase all the pain and tears. But he can't, and we have to move forward with it all. If I continue to not take care of my diabetes, it will be worse. The depression & my health will get worse, not better. I know what I have to do to get through this all & that's what I need to do. In the end I will learn more about myself than I would have before. I beleive everything happens for a reason & that whether we know it or not we learn a new lesson every day. So, even though you wwant to do everything you can to prevent pain and hurt and injury from ever entering your childs life, you can't. You have to take what God has given you and see all the good things in it, then take that and move forward. I've learned that we need eachother.

Also, coming from a kid with diabetes, I know what I always want from my parents. I dont' have a close relationship with my parents, and we don't have a good support system. Make sure you give your child a hug everyday. Tell them that you love them more than enough times. Even if they get embarrased or frustrated, it's really what they need. Also - for your diabetic child, my mom always gets mad or frustrated with me when I have a bad blood sugar day. It's normal. Type 1 diabetes is something that will never be perfect. With all the stress it's no wonder its been all over the place. But nothing makes me feel worse about myself and diabetes than when I feel like my parents aren't on my side.

I hope all is well :) Hope is real!!!!


(Angie13) #5

Oh Sarah, that sounds just horrible!  I wish I had the wisdom of my ages to share with you.  It may not help now, but know that this panicky feeling will pass.  It's like PTSD.  In a few days, a few weeks, you'll breathe a lot more easily.  I do remember from my son's dx that feeling for weeks of "when is the other shoe going to drop when is the other shoe going to drop whenistheothershoegoingtodrop."    How everything can seem so normal one day and such a train wreck the next.  Prep from the things you can prep for.  Just like being a good diabetic is all about being prepared.  And I guess being a sane diabetic is knowing that you cannot control everything.  Same for being a sane parent.  And just be strong for the things that you can't prep for.  That's what your son needs.

(I feel hypocritical sending this.  I'm a big worrier.  And what gives you more things to worry about than a kid!  Or two kids!  I was a pro at worrying LONG before my son's  dx.)

Is your son eating okay?  My son with T1 bust his lip on a table in the middle of the night getting water about three and a half years ago.  9 stitches.  I wish they'd sedated him.  Or me.  Anyway, he had a fair number of Wendy's Frosties after than incident---there were just three days left in the school year and I brought him a Frosty to the school each day for lunch.  On more important matters, when his lip was busted, it wasn't a neat simple cut and we learned later that tissue from the inside of the lip was pulled to the outside to get it to close.  Inside tissue is not like outside tissue.  For example, sun protection is even more of an important issue now.  My son has a lump of scar tissue that will not go away and may choose to have surgery on it.  Maybe I'm telling you too much.  I'm trying to be helpful and not tell horror stories, but I don't even know how many stitches your son had.  When my son is sick, his lip swells---I have no idea why.  We saw a plastic surgeon a couple of years ago and are keeping the surgery option open.  Although this was all before T1 and I don't want to think about surgery and T1.