I'm so relieved to hear that you feel bolusing is always a guess. You're correct in that we are getting good at guessing, but I keep feeling like we must be doing something wrong based on our nurse educator always saying "just do what the pump recommends." I wish we could do what it recommends except that my husband and I KNOW that the pump doesn't know the current situation like we do. Just knowing that what we're encountering is "normal" makes all the difference.
The scary part (or I should say MORE scary part of diabetes) is preparing Ryan to take the reins. I know that's what it all comes down to, but as a parent and with so much at stake, I imagine it's tough to let go.
haha wow a cde that only offers "do what the pump recommends"... wow. I do not have to guess that your cde is not diabetic! As far as activity levels in children go, you are doing it right. more or less insulin with respect to activity... I am afraid that's all you can do. Having said that, if you find that for school days (where activity levels are structured) you are consistently high or low then you should recalibrate your basal, corrections and carb ratios. You can strive that for "some" days, the pump calcs are good. you can pick what your "some" days are - maybe for school or other "most prevalent" days.
I only really override my pump suggestion if I know I am more or less active than my "base case day" (for me, base case is"work" with mild activity like walking that I do most days), or if I am sick, or if I have eaten something super high in fat and need to intervene. If I find that my AM basal for a given meal is consistantly a tad low I will make a calibration change in my pump. It's not hard to do, and for me it makes my days easier, because I do my "base case" day usually 5 out of 7 days a week. I bet Ryans days vary wildly, but this will change with time.
Also, please find support from as many parents, and other folks like us with diabetes - Ryan will and must be his own caretaker, and IMO, the sooner the better. It'll most likely be a little painful, and it will surely be frightening, but God Bless and good luck you can do it.