The spouse thing is really really hard! I so understand. But look at it this way. You can take a horse to water, but you can’t make em drink!
My wife will sit in a dark place 20 ft away and ask me how this or that looks. Due WMD, I can’t even see her face! She knows I’m legally blind, but yet, still the same thing day after day!
This the issue, at lest for me, she remember how I was before diagnosis! Not how I am now! It’s very frustrating!! But, long talks sometimeshelp, but other times a swift kick in the behind seems in order! Don’t do it, be patient! She’s hurting too! She’s in denial! Tell she’s in denial, tell her the things she’s doing aren’t helping, that all she is doing is creating stress for no reason and that to help the most is to listen, she doesn’t have to understand, just listen. Once she does that it will help you. Stress is a big worry.
Just be honest and frank in the nicest way you can. That’s all you can do! She’ll either listen or not. But if you notice a difference, Good lord, tell her how much it helps!!
Over time she’ll get it. Mine still gets pissed about how I talk to her!! Daily, I don’t see it or hear it at all, honestly! But I gotta listen and say I’m sorry, cause it might be true. Nearly every day she tells me to tone it down. I guess my frustrations come out in my voice. I don’t know it or hear it or feel like I’m doing it.
Just some examples of spousal relations that affect me. If it helps wonderful! Just that both of you gotta realize that stuffs different and gotta work together to get thru it!
Dude, I still have NO memory of throwing a grilled cheese sandwich against the wall, cause she pissed me off when I was dropping. I really wish that I didn’t do it by the way!! Other than the fact that she told me I did it, nothing! But dr backed me up saying well that’s very possible and that I may never have any memory of it. That’s the day she started listening to me. Hope that it helps! If she doesn’t believe, I’ll give her my wife’s number and she can call her!
This stuff is for real! I didn’t want it, I don’t want it, but I got it and well… it’s all about the learning curve it’s a 180 or better. It’s not gentle or easy. It’s damn hard! But patience and communication will help, it will go a looooong way to understanding.
Hope it helps!!