I know as time goes on family relationships change with parents and siblings, and that seems to be happening now for me. About a week ago I addressed a concern when my brother-in-law fed our daughter (who’s 2) without letting us know. my husband and I just happened to see it, and quickly bloused for it. Later I wrote him expressing our need to be told about any food she gets. Now Today my sister texted me saying that it was weird and I should just say something in the moment and it felt weird getting the message the next day. Her message rubbed me the wrong way. It was as though she found it offensive and I was a jerk for sending it later. I didn’t say anything right away because I felt like I’d be jumping on something and make him or others uncomfortable so I really did think waiting to address is privately would be better. Apparently not. Even my mother said to not say anything and just wait for the next time when I had told her what happened. Either way I feel a huge sense that they didn’t have a concern for her but instead felt like I was attacking or offending them. I didn’t think it should be something to be offended by as it’s a matter of fact for caring for our daughter. In all i don’t feel like my family really understands how on top of it we have to be or how really concerning it is to have food around a two year old. I guess I’m bummed, kinda mad, and confused. Especially since they’ve seen us in action for 9 months now
I know how you must feel, how hard [it appears] that you are really trying to do what is right for your little darling, and how frustrating when friends and family just don’t understand what it is like for you and your daughter’s involvement in this “24/L Club”. You were absolutely in the right when you brought to their attention that they were not fully acting in your daughter’s best interest; most probably many of the people with whom you regularly associate need “some enlightenment” - or more bluntly education. Something subtle you could have said to your B-I-L was"… did you write down the estimated carbs you fed her, and how much insulin did you administer?".
By now, you are learning that T1 requires 24 hour awareness of activities, food intake and insulin - and that all three intertwine and that no matter how diligent we are T1 management can be elusive. Are you comfortable in explaining to those around you some of the basic concepts of T1 Management? I and several other people here, with many years experience, can assist and guide you - and there is much good “teaching” material on-line.
Your B-I-L probably thought he was doing something to help you out and I suspect he probably fed her something healthy - “gee, I didn’t give her a piece of cake, or cookies”. He has probably been influenced by the proliferation of unsound myth.
Stay in touch,