So this is sometimes how I feel


(kneazle_lady) #1

This is a philosophical issue I have had at times with being on life support with type 1. It has only really hit in the last six years what it meant, truly meant, to need to take insulin for the rest of my life. It felt wonderful to have better control with the insulin pump (especially when I moved off of Regular to Humalog), but it also felt odd, existentially, to be connected to a machine. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to feel about any situation that this planet can offer. So this was something I drew which put into an image the way I feel sometimes.


(kneazle_lady) #2

by the by, it’s frankenstein


(Ande) #3

very cool picture, and I know how you feel about being alwaiys connected to a pump. Its weird to have your life depend on a machine. I never thought I would get used to it.


(kneazle_lady) #4

Hey Ande…I appreciate your comment…I figure the best way to reply to it is through this comment…if there’s a better way that I was supposed to use but didn’t, I apologize…

Thank you for your encouraging words. I was aiming for the feeling of being connected to an insulin pump, and it is also heartening to read that you identified with this feeling as well. I remember when I first walked out of the Dr.'s office with it attached…I was glad to have it, but I felt odd as well. It took a couple of weeks to I guess ‘get over’ that whatever feeling.

I go to a place sometimes where I imagine trying to survive in the wilderness…w/insulin and supplies, it is possible (as are most things)…but I go to a darker place where I’m imagining nature and being in it without the supplies…

And then one of the six cats crawls in my lap and purrs, and it’s all good. It sounds trite, but the cat is exceptionally adept at pulling me away from the woods-no-insulin scenario.

Anyway, thank you again. : )


(Jynxx) #5

Your drawing is really well executed :slight_smile: I like that you left his eye closed too… I think we can all related to Frankenstein in a lot of ways (pumpers and non pumpers) in that we offten can feel isolated because of our differences but I like to remind myself that its those differences that make me me and I am thankful for them. Diabetes can be a constant struggle and an overwhelming stress most days but as the old saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

remember your not alone <3


(kneazle_lady) #6

Well, thank you for your comment and your kind words. Neing grateful certainly is a good thing. I’m glad for some things, and I am not glad for some things. I tend to take the point of view that a feeling must be felt if it is insisting on being there, so I respect my heart and my mind and let them wander where they will without judging myself for doing so. It’s what and how I act based on those feelings that I am most of the careful about. Have you ever seen the version of Frankenstein, the one with the violin player, an old black and white version? It’s interesting to see how the movie addresses the idea of humanity versus inhumanity, and what makes a person human or not…I don’t really know what any other type 1 feels as I am not that person, but it is my hope that in some weird sci-fi corny way, this picture is not a source of negativity. Have you ever wondered what would have occured if insulin had never been discovered (or the myriad other treatments which sustain life for that matter)? That’s part of what makes me think of what, exactly, nature is. Anyway, so thank you again for your discussion. I feel gratitude for certain things, type 1 being one of them, and this picture is, in fact, an act of gratitude as well. Look at the expression on his face. Gratitude, I think, is not negated by questioning things.


(sk8ergal) #7

U r a good drawer.


(miley22) #8

that looks awesome


(Gina) #9

This is awesome. Great use of shadows.


(kneazle_lady) #10

Hey Seara, thank you for your compliment! I used a photograph to go from, and the black and white of the photo helped a lot to get something on the page…clearer shapes hidden in the larger image to use to draw from.

Miley22, also, thank you for saying that! It’s nice to have encouragement. I go in phases with drawing things, and I think I am about to go into another one…

Gina, thank you for your words as well. Again…a black and white photograph makes it simpler to draw. I didn’t trace it, but the photograph helped to see what I was doing. I didn’t realize that I was doing it at first, but I found that I was putting my face in the image.

Also, I used to do roller derby, until I broke my left leg above the ankle in a two-break…after surgery, etc…four steel plates, screws…I came up with my derby name: Frankenankle.

Anyway, thank you again for what you have said.