To yell or not to yell?


(lemonwedges4) #1

A lot of my other family members are type 2. In fact, I am the only type 1. They are the kind of Diabetics who take a pill and never test and have 5.0 A1Cs every time. Type 2 is hard, yes but it is also different!!!

I have a lot of people who care about me (and by extension my diabetes) but absolutely every single family member thinks I should never be able to eat a piece of cake, or a lollipop, or even a piece of whit bread because it is a simple sugar!!!

A constant phrase is "Are you sure you should be eating that?" Well. no I shouldn't be eating it, but sometimes we need a little treat to keep us going. I know I do. I think about how each and every food will affect me, and sometimes I just need to not worry (even if it is just for a few minutes)!

Sometimes I just want to scream at all the incessent questions!! Does anybody get what I am saying??????????????????


(kneazle_lady) #2

I am not extremely tolerant of insensitive and self-centered people who say things about my life when they haven't the first clue what they are talking about (and also don't care that they don't know). That being said, I'm glad this site is here. My advice is to save any frustration and take it to a safe place (journal, or...here, maybe) or a safe person (someone who is either type 1 or sympathetic or both) to vent to or with. At some point, people who are antagonistic stop being able to think logically; I'm convinced that the human brain (the average human brain) simply cannot receive data at certain times (I think this is closely tied to arrogance of the type that insists it knows you better than you know yourself!). Take heart. I've had some frustrating times with people who have "see the [type 2] light" and felt themselves completely qulified to shine it on me. Too bad it was only a candle.


(A-D) #3

Stephanie,

There is one person with whom, repeated interaction and explanation and exposure has done nothing.  He is a type 2and constantly tells me what I should and should not eat.   I have taken to replying (somewhat glibly) that I am never more than two hours away from normal blood sugar, even if I were to handle it wrong (usually followed by a shoulder shrug and a smile).  It’ s not soo over the top –but it has allowed me to feel like I’m defending myself instead of rolling over. 

It’s a tough line.  Often times, I think (and follow) a path closer to CrochetNut’s advice – I’ll be curious to see others' solutions ;)

Cheers,

A-D


(joe) #4

the world will not get smarter overnight.  =)  heck it may never get any smarter.    Don't forget we only make up 5-10% of the diabetic population so even health care professionals don't always know what they are saying.

If you have extraordinary patients - you can explain - but I have found out this one thing:  beware of advice - wise people don't need it and fools won't listen anyway.

I have a pre-diabetic frend of the family and when she says, every single time I see her,  "you should eat apples, LOTS AND LOTS of APPLES" I smile, say nothing, and do what I need to do for myself.  You know... with a quick bolus you can go ahead and eat chocolate cake - you you already know how to be evil ;)

and most importantly - WE hear you.


(Morgan) #5

I completely understand what you mean! People are always asking me if I should be eating that and how my blood sugar is and I just want to tell them to SHUT UP! If my bloodsugar was really messed up, I would let someone know just in case I was having problems or something, so I don't need ppl aking me constantly!


(lemonwedges4) #6

Thank you to everyone! At least I'm not alone. Sometimes I think that all health care professionals (or just regular professionals) need to take a course in Type 1! Not only for their benefit, but for ours!!!

Thanks everyone for the advice and support!!!!


(Marldance) #7

you are totally not alone. I was actually talking to some camp friends about this over the weekend. It being thanksgiving and all this happens alot and will continue to happen with all the other holiday treats. The best thing you can do when they ask this is say "As long as i give myself insulin grandma/uncle/ etc. I can eat whatever I want in moderation" Cuz honestly it is no worse for you to be eating cookies/ cake etc. than it Is for anyone else to. 


(Mitz23) #8

I know whatca mean, my parents are always yelling at me to check my blood sugars and take my bolus's and sometimes I just want to yell, I KNOW!! But I'm with ya, most of my family ( not my parents.. aunts uncles grandparets ) have type 2 and they always say they know what I'm going through and its like uhh no sryy you don't know at all. I live in a small town and I'm the only kid in my town with T1. Its so hard to do what I have to. I hate having diabtes! Plz comment back!


(kphm23) #9

Right there with you! I am the only person in my entire family (immediate and extended...no grandparents, no aunts, no uncles, no cousins) who has diabetes. And I would swear that, though my immediate family is very good about not getting on my case, everyone else always does. Drives me absolutely crazy. I think it may be because I'm sick of explaining to people that I do not have to eliminate food from my diet and that I can eat food. I've done it repeatedly for years and just want people to stop telling me how to treat my body when they in reality have no idea.

On the subject of wanting to scream...I was walking through a store the other day with my boyfriend and this store was giving out free pieces of candy to its customers. I politely declined because I'm not very big on chocolate, however this lady was offered a piece and at first declined saying she was diabetic but then changed her mind and said that she may need it in case she becomes hyperglycemic. Now I realize she probably just messed up her terminology but it drives me crazy when people who have the disease can't even get it right. Aggravation!


(robbslilangel) #10

I have heard "advice" from Everyone (strangers, friends, family, pharmacists). I just smile. I hate it when someone feels the need to tell me that I am going to die or hurt myself because I had french fries or they know what I am going through because they had gestational diabetes. I have been told that I must not take care of myself because I have to take insulin. Then they look at me weird when I explain that they are wrong. I think the worst is when someone finds out and looks at me like I am already 6ft in the ground.

I take everything with a grain of salt. I have been dumped by a boyfriend because his family felt I was damaged goods and wouldnt produce healthy offspring (boy were they wrong) to if I just think i dont have it then it will go away.

I believe in the smile and nod and cussing at them in my head approach :)


(misstifyde) #11

I'm for smile-nod and ignore.. I have too many other things to worry about with my sons health, than to give one precious moment of my time to ignorance....


(Sara_Was_Here) #12

I am always for the art of screaming, but with my family, I just kinda grin and pretend that I'm doing what they are saying.

Whatever makes them shut up.

I then just scream at the Ironman cutout in my room.

Lifes hard.

Get a heltmet.

 


(Sara_Was_Here) #13

I am always for the art of screaming, but with my family, I just kinda grin and pretend that I'm doing what they are saying.

Whatever makes them shut up.

I then just scream at the Ironman cutout in my room.

Lifes hard.

Get a heltmet.

 


(Jillian H) #14

I totally understand what you are saying. People need to let us live our lives. Everyone eats sweets, including diabetics. I have experiences like yours alot also. For example, my school recently got a smoothie machine in the cafeteria. All of my friends were saying that they were delicious so I decided to buy one. While I was getting my smoothie a teacher looked at me and said "If I were you I wouldn't get that because smoothies have a lot of sugar and they can make blood sugars skyrocket." I was totally shocked. I had never had someone who wasn't a family member bluntly tell me not to eat something. I did not listen to her, I bought my peach smoothie, and I drank it!Everyone deserves to indulge themselves once in a while.


(christina) #15

Absolutely!  I hear ya, girl.  I eat ice cream, pizza, bread, cookies....I just make sure I keep it at moderation, and I make sure I match every 10 grams of carbs with 1 unit of Novolog.  My mom and boyfriend used to ask me, "Is that okay for you to have?"  But now, I think they've gotten used to the idea that, no, it's probably (most likely) not what I should be eating, but I'm not gonna pass up a small piece of cheese cake when I have insulin to correct my blood sugar in case it gets high!  So they have backed off. . .But I understand their concern.  And I'm no dumby.  I know how much ice cream I should have (15g [4oz], and give myself one unit if I'm a little on the high side, 2 units if I'm over 170 mg/dl)


(christina) #16

'Crochet Nut',

My step dad has type 2 diabetes, and he thinks he KNOWS EVERYTHNG there is to know about diabetes.  He takes a pill and watches what he eats - that's it!  He doesn't even check his blood sugar more than once a day.  Yet he thinks he can give me advice, and criticize me on how well I'm managing my diabetes.  He's always been a 'know-it-all'.  He talks over you, and doesn't let you get a word in. (Not to mention he's an alcoholic and thinks he's always got something good to say when he's drunk).  I can't stand people like that.  I don't know how my mom has been with him for 10 years.  Everyone's body is different, and their blood sugar isn't going to have the same daily patterns. . . so people need to just back off T1 Diabetics, and try (or pretend) to sympathize with us, instead of trying to tell us how to manage our lives!!! 


(rs14hubbard) #17

As a parent of a 6 year old Type I diabetic I run into this same thing ALL THE TIME! People do not get it. As much as I want to educate people so they will understand, there are many days I just leave it alone. Unless they walk in your shoes it will be difficult for them to know how you manage your diabetes. Take a deep breath and just move forward!


(whatruhere4) #18

I was the only diabetic Type 1 in a completely non diabetic family. then a few years ago my cousin was diagnosed and now my friggin' aunt thinks she knows how to treat my diabetes. she is a lot better than she was when my cousin was first diagnosed. it was probably about a few months after his diagnosis and me, my mom, and one of my other cousins (one of my aunt's other sons) and that aunt were at disneyland and we were about to get on this train that goes around the park. as i was getting onto the train i startedto feel low so i checked my blood sugar, it was low and i turned to my mom and asked if she had any candy. my aunt was about to have a heart attack when i asked that, she looked at me and said, "you shouldn't have that to treat a low." seriously? are you trying to make a low diabetic want to hit you from preventing me from sugar? she tried giving me a granola bar, i did not want the granola bar i wanted my skittles. i think i snapped at her when she said that. all i remember from that was looking at her in shock and anger. she has a son who is doing this on his own why the hell are you tell me what to do? i have been doing this for years so back off woman.