@emkris hi. yes I agree with your and @Dennis risk analysis. I want to add that this may not be the only thing going on here. I was 44 when we had our son, I know the statistics of genetically passing t1 to my son are low but it does concern me, to the point of anxiety sometimes.
I suppose that having a child is a huge deal. For me, I originally thought it was because of “responsibility”, and if that was it, it was easy to dismiss because heck I’ve been and continue to be responsible to all of my commitments… so that should be easy too! That was not the huge deal at all. the huge deal was the vulnerability that having someone so precious and helpless in your life brings you, and it can make you feel weak to any and all things that can happen. for a guy, that line of thinking may make you shy away, as it may be too much to lose, too big a risk,
it’s probably time to find out if the fear is about diabetes, or if it’s about something else entirely. better know now than later. a long and grown-up talk may be in order…
It took a lot of thinking to not freak out in a cold sweat over the though of something happening to my son. For the diabetes thing I have come to this conclusion: if this terrible thing happens to him, then who better in the entire world than me could step up and help him deal with it? I always believe, when it comes to my son, that avoiding risks are the preferred way… however if it comes down to war, then without hesitation I’ll put my back against his and take on the entire world if necessary.
there are risks in everything we do and experience in this world. if we shy away from them all then we are probably exposed to less risk, but also then the experiences of life diminish. looking back there is nothing I’d rather be doing or have done. I am honored and privileged to have this experience, no matter where it takes me.
To put it another way, you gotta want it, and if you want it you gotta go all in.