What if I give up...?

(Nancy) #21

@aml127 - fyi, I’ve survived cancer, too.

(Rich) #22

Dennis and Nancy, you both rock! Thank you for sharing… it has been 41 years for me, I was diagnosed after the glass syringe days, but as you both know it was quite challenging back then. We simply did not have any tools or info ,our insulin dosages were determined by a single blood draw that was several days old. Much different today…much better today. That is not to say that it isn’t really hard, because it is. But I am thankful that I survived my childhood and have the life I have and I look forward to continue living it, experiencing new things and having fun along the way. Thanks.

(SuperSam101) #23

NO I have not given up yet. All I have done is asked a community for their opinions, because frankly they definitely have more experience than I have. Some probably have given up before and they could help explain to me why it is such a stupid idea. I don’t give up, not that easily. I’m just tired of also having scars, both internal and external. I have scars on my arms legs and stomach. I don’t have any, “so called” fat injection sites. My metabolism is high and I don’t put on wait easily so I scar often. Along with that I can’t really eat anything that puts on wait besides protein, but I think we all know how old the flavor of egg and cheese can get. Where I live you can’t really eat meat all the time. The price is too high. I am hurt by this disease daily, just like all of you awesome guys, but it has hurt my relationship with my friends, family and God. I used to full on celebrate how cool he is. Now I’m just like, “well there’s that guy in the sky that doesn’t want you to be healthy”. I really do agree with you and you made your point quite clear- that I should be greatful for the advance in technology. However I have to just mention that companies are donated millions of my currency but hundreds of thousands of dollars. To think that the best they could make was a quite crude syringe. Surely they could make an affordable insulin pump that looks as advanced as the phones we use today. I have a choice either I get a car or a damned insulin pump, because that’s how rediculous the price is. I could buil my own insulin pump, all I need is the source code of another insulin pump. We have come a long way from 1957 till now. The best we can make, however is an insulin pump that is way too expensive and plastic pens that are also expensive and not “futuristic” at all. I used to have friends one was Diabetic type one like me! Then she left my school and went far away in my country. My current “friends” are absolute idiots that can’t even talk to me without mentioning Diabetes, they are guys so their intention span is small. So I now hang out with the girls more. Only one of my guy friends is human and knows that he doesn’t need to mention Diabetes to talk to me. So in conclusion of this roughly written scrap heap of an essay. The assumption that I should have a attitude re-assessment is correct, but on the other hand maybe it would be nice if there was someone else who understood me and my disease. Apart from the average Joe (no offense @joe ) saying “oh but it’s fine you can do exercise then you’re cured. Someone literally spoke about my diabetes in maths, so the girl next to me [who I like :wink: ] was like you have diabetes “ yeah” “I’m so sorry” but then the guys sitting in front of me (not my friends turned around and said “but you’re not fat.” I was so disappointed that they were actually as stupid as I thought. To my surprise the girl sitting next to me. She explained the difference to them completely, I was amazed. For once there was someone that understood, but it really loses you credit being sick (in relationships :wink:). I can understand though. Who wants a boyfriend that can possibly get your children the disease as well. He can’t have a glass of wine with you whenever you want, have to plan twenty minutes before. She saw through this though she doesn’t care she has just become more interested. It’s cool really cool. I am greatful I found her, but there still isn’t that person that can be my friend I tell everything to (Like issues I’m having with diabetes) I have to do this on my own and when stuff goes wrong I have to guess what to do, it does definitely help having her there next to me though. It’s an unspoken thing, but it’s definitely there.

Thanks for your awesome response! I’m going to prepare for breakfast now. Bye, enjoy the crudely made Essay, I’m half blind right now from sleep so it might be jambled or something anyway. We rock respect it :fist:t2: @nannimae @joe @

(SuperSam101) #24

@Dennis sorry forgot to post to you.

(AML127) #25

I’m so glad that you did. I’m not underestimating cancer. My point was simply that other diseases are just as serious as cancer. And, people with diseases other than cancer should matter too. The general public doesn’t seem to understand diabetes especially type one. But the general public does have somewhat of an understanding of cancer.
So glad that you beat cancer and continue to not let diabetes beat you

(AML127) #26

@nannimae sorry ^^^ that I didn’t address to you above

(Michelle) #27

I’m sorry for what you are going through, but how long have you had diabetes?
I’ve had it for 28 years and went on the pump in 2015. It really made a difference as you can have better control of you diabetes. If you know you are going to eat 50 gms of carbs, you can use the Bolus Wizard and put that amount in, even without putting your current blood glucose level and it will determine how much insulin you need. Also, you can google carb amount of foods you are unsure of and I would suggest that you at least try the insulin pump. It does take getting used to, but at least you would have more freedom as far as what you can eat.
Callous of the person who offered you shortbread, knowing that you couldn’t have it.
I usually eat in relation to what I will be doing afterwards…not that I go overboard before exercising, as you still have to get that sugar into your cells/via insulin. But as a diabetic, I know that I have to think before I eat anything, and yes it is a hassle, but we have to deal with this. I would seriously consider trying the insulin pump. If you don’t like it, you can always go back to the injections. But another plus of the pump is that you can give yourself “half doses.” With the needle, you can only give yourself specific units; with the pump, you can give yourself a bolus of 2.5, if needed. That is impossible to do injecting.
Hope this helps!!!

(davyboy) #28

I can tell you aren’t a long term diabetic, The near future for us is closed loop insulin pumps, and there is one on the market made by Medtronic. It is well worth putting all you have into buying a pump, if you don’t have insurance. It is insured for 4 years, but most always runs for years longer. Besides making life a lot easier, it gives more control, and if you get the one from Medtronic, it gives you much better control. You have to change sites every 3 to 4 days and change glucose sensor sites every 7 to 10 days.

(davyboy) #29

You know, you can get used insulin pumps, if you want to build your own closed loop pump. There are some web sites that help with that. One is Open APS.org or .com. A good site to start with is diyps.org

Somewhere on this discussion site is a topic on closed-loop pumps or on Artificial Pancreas. You can search both. Lots of diabetics helping diabetics.

A useful used pump is the Medtronic 530g, which is used by OpenAPS to make a closed loop unit. It was built by a Type 1 woman who maintains that site as well as a facebook page.

Medtronic has a donation program for older pumps like the 530g. They may be able to help you get one free and then sell you supplies, although there may be websites that can sell the stuff cheaper. Talk to Medtronic and see if they will help. I imagine they do this to keep you as a long term customer. Also, being a student, maybe they have a program to cut costs for less well-off people.

Good luck.

(SuperSam101) #30

@davyboy I don’t really want an insulin pump, because then it just makes it more obvious that I’m sick. I am not a fan of the whole medical equipment constantly strapped to me part.

(davyboy) #31

Okay, just so you are aware of the long term consequences.

(SuperSam101) #32

Thanks @davyboy I just don’t think I am ready for a pump just yet. Maybe when I am 60, but hopefully the cure will be here by then.

(ValerieAdams) #33

You’re only as sick as you want to be. Me, I’m actually a healthier person because of my T1D. I’ve had it since 1992 and can tell you that because of it, I take better care of myself and my health. No one knows I’ve got diabetes unless I tell them. I wear both a pump and a CGMS and can be as discrete or open as I want.

I firmly believe it’s about education: knowledge is power, and attitude is everything. When someone’s diagnosed they’ve got two choices in my opinion: die or get with the program and learn how to live! I’ve been a business owner since I was 21, I’ve raised two amazing young men, I met and married my husband at 40, I’ve done peer counseling for other people with diabetes, and I’m not worried about a cure because I doubt it’ll occur in my lifetime (they told me it was 5 years out when I was diagnosed). Instead, I live my life to the fullest, keeping my BG in a normal range as often as I can, and don’t feel like I’m missing a thing. :smile:

(Dennis J. Dacey, pwD) #34

Very well said Valerie @valerieadams , we think alike on this.

(anns) #35

Just so you all know, I have had Type 1 for a bit over 35 years. My daughter, now a nurse, said that she was counseling a patient and she told her “my mom has always said that she isn’t diabetic, she is a person with diabetes. It means SHE is in control. That is the attitude you should have.” I’m proud that she remembered that and that it rubbed off. I’ve never felt that diabetes defined me. It makes me walk on a tightrope, though. I’ve felt like giving up, but my children and my grandkids are worth persevering.

(carl benwon) #37

one way to change focus is to find another. For me it’s playing acoustic instruments. Taking a new challenge, making it happen and getting therapy along the way.

Don’t give up! It’s just a few shots a day and you have so many folks in solidarity with you and your struggles. Including me!


(Michelle) #38

Supersam, please don’t think that wearing an insulin pump marks you as a “sick” person. It doesn’t…we all have health issues or some problem to deal with, health or otherwise.
I get ya, with not being a fan of having medical equipment attached to you, I felt the same way before getting the pump, which I’ve been on since 2015.
While it is a nuisance to have it attached to your body, it does give you more flexibility-with your diabetes control.
My endocrinologist suggested three times to me, to try it. I finally did and am glad that I chose to do so, but before I did I was vehemently against getting it.
Just consider trying it and if you don’t like it, you can always go back to injections.

(Abby) #39

@Amethyst8 I’m with you on this one–I was completely against the idea of getting a CGM because, like @supersam101, I hated the idea of having something attached to me all the time. But after several dangerous lows my doctor convinced me to try it, and it’s completely changed my life. Obviously everyone has different opinions about this, and I completely get that the pump/CGM isn’t for everyone, but if you don’t like the way your condition is right now, it might be time to consider a change. Those devices can provide a lot more freedom and give you better control.

(Michelle) #40

@bookwormnerd13 I’ve had a low episode that my doctors assistant recognized during a phone call several months ago and she called the paramedics, because I couldn’t test my sugars while on the phone with her and actually got a bit testy with her! Thank God she did, otherwise I might have been in a coma.
But I still don’t want the CGM. I know it can give me better control but I’m just so against having another device attached to my body at this point.
I hope you are doing well!!!

(Leah T1D since 2001) #41

While I’m positive you are tired of hearing from people by now, it’s always nice to know some people get just as angry as you do. I pretty much dislike the vast majority of humans I encounter every day. That being said, T1D is a crap shoot. I find most days I am only existing. However, the person that qualified as my dietitian said I could “eat anything I wanted to, in moderation”. My struggle is that an entire bag of Doritos does not qualify as a moderate amount… so, I’m right there with you. I love treats, I LOVE junk food, and I was diagnosed at 23, which was prime drinking time for me. Life as I knew it then, ended. It does suck right off the rip. Most people will play the optimistic card and say, “oh, well, it will get easier…” It doesn’t get easier, you just learn to tolerate a lot more.
I’m a bit older now, and it’s still frustrating as hell. I still hate giving myself shots. I was never really a believer in any one religion, but I qualified myself as a spiritual person. I had faith that, against all odds, things would work out for me, when it mattered. Sure. Lost that faith, and altered my spiritualism… I’m still alive and breathing.

What I’ve found is that you can give up, but in doing so, you will incur a more painful and unpleasant end. If you don’t take care of yourself, say goodbye to your limbs and ability to move yourself in your own direction when you want; say goodbye to your ability to see clearly, and who actually WANTS to deal with any of that? Those are just 2 of the absurd number of bad “side effects” to giving up. I do find fun in life, and usually at someone else’s expense.

Had a boss who was just a mongrel. She had this knack of just getting under my skin. Ignorant. And, she was not Christian, so she took celebrating Christmas out of the office; called it an “End of Year Celebration”. Yeah. She knew I was diabetic, and that I’d probably have candy at my desk for emergencies (which meant ‘for her’), so she came to ask me for some chocolate. It was the holidays, so people had brought insane amounts of treats and candies. I stashed some for emergencies and indulgent snacks, and didn’t want to upset the person who’d given me the worst chocolate ever as a gift, by throwing it away at the office. Now, if you don’t know, sugar free candy can cause, ahem, digestion issues (??)… basically, you’ll blow up like a balloon if you eat too much sugar free candy at one time. All that air has to go somewhere…
I gave her all of my sugar free chocolate santa’s (which tasted like garbage, anyways) and watched her cram them into her mouth on the friday before Christmas… she had been talking about having a get together with a lot of “influential” people over the weekend.
Yes, I took out my aggression about being diabetic on her… kinda… it was a very tiny victory in my world, but ya gotta take what you can get, when you can get it. Monday came and I asked how her party was. While it didn’t ruin her weekend, it certainly caused her some serious discomfort. This was about 6 months into being diagnosed.

You now have a reason to get out of pretty much any situation because most non-diabetics have no clue what you need to do to take care of yourself. My mother used me as an excuse until she retired, which is hilarious. Also, the negative outlook is actually pretty normal. My endocrinologist suggested I talk to a therapist… LOL!!! It’s cool, it’s good to vent to someone that has heard much crazier stuff from people much worse off than I am. I felt like I was taking crazy pills for 15 years of my life. It’s really awesome to know that even when you are at your lowest, or your worst, there is someone who can understand.
I hope this doesn’t get deleted… edited is ok, but I think with T1D it’s good to know there are others feeling frustrated and negative. The situation generally doesn’t get better, but YOU DO.
This is just a gigantic, car swallowing pot hole in the road of life. So, ditch your easy ride in life and walk the hell around, because you’ve still got your feet.