When does it get less stressful?


#1

Honestly don’t know if this belongs in Coping, Parenting or Newly Diagnosed. The truth is it’s all 3. I’m a Mom and my daughter was diagnosed 2 months ago at age 9 and while she is thriving, I am not.

I’m a strong, resilient person. I’ve overcome difficult things and dealt with traumas. So I expected to be feeling better by now–more on top of things, have some brain power back, be able to work, think, plan Christmas, have a little time for my husband and other child, have my nervous system settle down a bit and find that “new normal” that always follows a crisis. Well I clearly underestimated the time it would take to adapt and integrate this because none of that stuff is happening. This is still, to put it bluntly, kicking my ass.

I’m looking for some experience, strength and hope from people who’ve been where I am right now.

How long did it take for you to feel like the rest of your life was even approaching being under control? Not the diabetes management–I know enough to understand that “control” there is…elusive. I just mean the regular life stuff–personal needs & responsibilities–that march on. When did you stop feeling like you couldn’t handle an unexpected phone call or a forgotten item from the store, or a simple request or question?


#2

While I can’t speak beyond where you are right now, I may be able to speak to where you are right now. My 5yo son was diagnosed just two weeks ago. While coping mechanisms and time will be different for everyone I’ve found that what has helped me the most is really trying to continue living life to the fullest. Don’t let T1D control your life. It’s a huge obstacle that makes everything more complicated, but don’t stop doing the things you and your family love to do. Go out to eat, go to a movie, and try to enjoy everything outside of counting carbs and calculating insulin units. Try to accept that everything will not go perfectly. We can’t control it all but we can manage it.


(joe) #3

and also @JonGates

on the average… ten thousand hours. (417 days). I am not trying to be a wise guy, It’s just what it takes. All the new brain circuits will be laid in, and you will reach expert level. Please go easier on yourself, you have to learn chemistry, biology, medical terminology, and develop strategies and senses that you have never had to before, and the only thing at risk is everything you love in this world… this can be called “stressful” with some accuracy.

Do not feel you have to do this alone. you need a team and a support system and you have got to take care of yourself. Please try to find a JDRF chapter - sometimes they are nearby. You will find other parents here online and at those fundraisers and it can ll be part of your support system.

we are all rooting for you.


(Joel) #4

I agree with @joe, at least a year, probably 10k hours is even more accurate. As a parent it’s been a struggle because it’s my own kid. As a nurse it’s been a shorter curve learning to deal with things. My wife has had a harder time both learning how to manage his insulin and with the emotional impact of his diagnosis, feeling like she was responsible for him having diabetes.

After 18 months, we’re okay but there are times when it seems like our son is living in denial. Be prepared for this as it will probably come up, along with the challenges you and your daughter will face as her body changes (end of her honeymoon period, growth spurts, onset of menses, etc).

It’s a process, and as such takes time to work through. In the meantime you have a support network here.


(dany) #5

I can definitely sympathize. My daughter was diagnosed at 2 years old. It took me almost a year to feel a bit normal. But it does get better. I learned children are more resilient and able to thrive through this. It is stressful but I can tell you that it does get better. You start to learn and understand more about T1D and manage it day by day. Take it day by day and do the best that you can. My daughter is now 10 and I’m still learning. Also it helps if you are to join a support group. That helped me so much. Good luck


(Lorijo) #6

I’m right with you. My daughter was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, and were all still adjusting, but it is getting easier day by day. I don’t stress about the little things like cleaning the house, etc. I’ve planned my budget for the rest of the month to accommodate the holidays, and food, since I know my grocery bill will go up with this new diagnosis. I’ve been trying to tackle the things I can, and putting off the things I can’t get to currently. And you know what, everyone understands. So, don’t feel pressured by things, just take things day by day, and everything will fall back into place. It may not be as fast as you expected, but you’re all going through a big change, and cutting things into manageable tasks and duties has been helping me, so I’m sure it will help you too! You’re not alone!!